Hi there, yes you there reading this! The person with the badge of honor on their sleeve, yet not advertising it to the world. Still finding her/himself. I understand..I was a kid when I had my diverted bladder, all of a whopping 7 years of age and by 8 years, it hadn't worked and the urostomy was created for me. And the rest as they say "Is rock n roll history." Since I grew up with my ostomy, it was different in the respect of not really having any adult years without it. It's all so different now with this new "appliance" as it has been called. As you are reading this post and thinking about all the things you're thinking about with your journey...it's important to keep in mind and take to heart, that you're among a community here that truly understands. They have faced those questions "Do I tell anyone?", "What is this going to be like?", "How am I going to be perceived now?" and so many more questions to ponder. Well, let me put a little ease into your train of thought.
You're going to find your way and make so many new friends here that are going to be just like family! They have had their own unique experiences and they have learned from "trial & err" over the years. You won't have to reinvent the wheel, you can fine tune it and make it work specifically for your circumstances. Just take a calm, relaxing beath and rest assured that you're going to be just fine. All those questions that are stirring around in your heart and mind, they will find their answers. As has been said "The only time the answer is important, is when the right question is asked."
I can tell you that this journey will have its ups & downs, its own unique timing and it will be transformational. I always loved that old Peace Corps slogan "The toughest job, you'll ever love." I wouldn't say that about being an ostomate, rather, it's about being patient in the process. Being patient with your body, as it heals and patient with others and most of all with yourself my friend. It can be easy to find yourself having mixed emotions about the entire thing. For me, growing up with my urostomy, it was something that I came to terms with over time. There was the initial shock and then there was the feeling of the unknown. Not sure what to expect, and having unexpected "surprises", like when my urostomy pouch would blow a leak or the adhesive wafer would wear through. The fact of the matter for me was that I was a kid and a young kid. I can tell you after all these years, that my life growing up was petty normal over all. Others in your life, they're not always going to know exactly what to say at certain times; other times, it's just a typical day for them, sharing in your ostomate journey. Truth of the matter is, you're alive and your loved ones are right there to see you through. You have a new beginning! You have a bright tomorrow! That's what really counts! Everything else will take care of itself over time.
Please never be afraid to ask questions, there are no "dumb" questions. Every question is important and if it matters to you, then it matters to the wonderful community here. A couple of tips that I found helpful:
1. Be open minded about the process and the journey.
2. Be gentle with yourself and what you're going through.
3. Take time to set aside special time to do something that you really love.
and most important..
4. Share in the journey of others and please allow others to share in your journey.
Like everything else, it will get easier with time and you're never going through this alone. We're all right there with you in familial spirit. Now, even if you don't get to interacting with others right now, or even tomorrow, please know that we're all here to help.
Psst...We are so proud of you!
=0)