Help - What do you do when your partner suggests you find something to cover up that ugly thing on your stomach in intimate moments?
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janee
Sep 23, 2009 7:33 am
beyondpar
Sep 23, 2009 11:04 am
I am assuming you are a female and the comment is coming from a male and if thats the case I have a few answers.
1. Come lie with me as I would love to see the beautiful pouch you have on your belly.
2. Tell him when he covers up the pimples on his ass you will ocver up the beautiful pouch on your belly
3. Keep the liights dim so you both can use your minds and imagination more in the act of intimacy. Lets not forget the brain is the biggest sex organ we both have
4. Tell him if hes focused on that , he must be doing something wrong as to not be taken away with the feelings and sensations the act itself brings on
5. We are all not perfect and if you want to start focusing on that Im sure you will find some things he has wrong with him that make him not so perfect either.
And lastly embrace the imperfections, they are what make us special and unique, as they are not ugly and disgusting as others(non otomates) might want us to think and feel
1. Come lie with me as I would love to see the beautiful pouch you have on your belly.
2. Tell him when he covers up the pimples on his ass you will ocver up the beautiful pouch on your belly
3. Keep the liights dim so you both can use your minds and imagination more in the act of intimacy. Lets not forget the brain is the biggest sex organ we both have
4. Tell him if hes focused on that , he must be doing something wrong as to not be taken away with the feelings and sensations the act itself brings on
5. We are all not perfect and if you want to start focusing on that Im sure you will find some things he has wrong with him that make him not so perfect either.
And lastly embrace the imperfections, they are what make us special and unique, as they are not ugly and disgusting as others(non otomates) might want us to think and feel
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beyondpar
Sep 23, 2009 11:09 am
If you Janee, would like to cover it up, you can order the phoenix magazine and there are vendors in there that make silk pouch covers which can be sexy and pretty and hel;p you to feel more feminine for you to wear also....I think that should help the both of you
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facingmyfears
Sep 23, 2009 4:15 pm
Oh my gosh!!!!!!!!!!! Beyondpar, your response brought tears to my eyes--so kind and compassionate.. ...you also made me laugh with item #2...'when he covers up the pimples on his ass you will ocver up the beautiful pouch on your belly"! That is absolutely brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!
Janee, please tell me your partner did not refer it, your pouch, as 'ugly'?... if he did, I sure hope life brings you someone who has a little more depth to him. (trying not to criticize your partner, but he has obviously hurt you or made you feel 'less than', otherwise you would not have posted the painful question.)
Karma tells me one of those 'pimples' on his ass might get infected one day!
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had to add a little levity/humor!
It's great that we all defend each other, isn't it?
Sharon
Janee, please tell me your partner did not refer it, your pouch, as 'ugly'?... if he did, I sure hope life brings you someone who has a little more depth to him. (trying not to criticize your partner, but he has obviously hurt you or made you feel 'less than', otherwise you would not have posted the painful question.)
Karma tells me one of those 'pimples' on his ass might get infected one day!
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had to add a little levity/humor!
It's great that we all defend each other, isn't it?
Sharon
gutenberg
Sep 23, 2009 6:00 pm
You could always get one of those long white silk scarves that men wear, you know the ones with the tassels on the ends, fold the pouch do a wrap around and voila! You could also have a message embroidered on it just for the hell of it, you know like, touch the wrap and you're dead!
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rainboww
Sep 23, 2009 6:45 pm
well what im thinking is what on earth are you doing with someone who expects you to hide it away...they should except you the way you are,and the fact that there asking you to cover it up.i do think that this is very insensitive on their behalf...i am far from confident regarding my ileostomy...and have alot of issues surrounding it...but by having remarks like this just wouldnt help!!!!xx
janee
Sep 23, 2009 11:17 pm
Thank you all so much for your great remarks, especially par, wish I could meet a man as great as this!!!
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junopete
Sep 24, 2009 1:51 am
Janee,
You have received some good replies to your post.
The fact of the matter is, this is a problem that ostomates run into. It's easy to say find someone else, that person is too shallow or whatever. That is not the reality of the situation.
I had a problem with what I thought was an enduring relationship. When I got home from the hospital with the bag on, things slowly started to change. The lady simply could not accept the bag. She could not see past it. She left; the loss was hers and mine. It's like some people can't stand the sight of blood or anything internal; they probably will not change their attitude any time soon.
You have to keep your eye on the prize. If you want something, then reach out and make it happen.
This fellow you are speaking of, he may be a lot of things. The one thing you know he is, and that is close to your heart. Not wanting to lose a loved one sometimes trumps many things. Try and find out just what it is about the bag that disturbs him. As Par suggests, maybe just covering it up will solve "some" of the problem.
None of us are perfect; we are allowed our prejudices. We all have them.
This fellow may be, in most other ways, a great person. Don't judge by just one red flag. I do understand it is a rather large red flag!
Take a minute and think: before you had any problems, how open would you be to an ostomate? To try and solve the problem, it is prudent to try and see and understand the other's perspective. Don't shoot from the hip; only you will get hurt.
Ostomates are too fast at saying, "if they can't take you as you are, then get rid of them." It may be just a little time is needed for this person to get used to the idea of the ostomy. Moreover, I would hope he would understand this condition is one of necessity; it's not optional.
If you did not like the guy, you would not have posted the problem.
No, don't just throw him out; he means something to you. Get out of the relationship what you seek. That is to say, get what you want.
I do not know the exact statistics of it. I would have to venture a very large percentage of ostomates are single. I don't like it, but it seems to be true. A lot of us have lost companions due to the ostomy. Until a little more compassion for others is brought into our daily lives, I am afraid ostomates will face an uphill battle with the acceptance problem. Not by all, just some.
Sorry for being so long-winded; I just am.
Rick.....
You have received some good replies to your post.
The fact of the matter is, this is a problem that ostomates run into. It's easy to say find someone else, that person is too shallow or whatever. That is not the reality of the situation.
I had a problem with what I thought was an enduring relationship. When I got home from the hospital with the bag on, things slowly started to change. The lady simply could not accept the bag. She could not see past it. She left; the loss was hers and mine. It's like some people can't stand the sight of blood or anything internal; they probably will not change their attitude any time soon.
You have to keep your eye on the prize. If you want something, then reach out and make it happen.
This fellow you are speaking of, he may be a lot of things. The one thing you know he is, and that is close to your heart. Not wanting to lose a loved one sometimes trumps many things. Try and find out just what it is about the bag that disturbs him. As Par suggests, maybe just covering it up will solve "some" of the problem.
None of us are perfect; we are allowed our prejudices. We all have them.
This fellow may be, in most other ways, a great person. Don't judge by just one red flag. I do understand it is a rather large red flag!
Take a minute and think: before you had any problems, how open would you be to an ostomate? To try and solve the problem, it is prudent to try and see and understand the other's perspective. Don't shoot from the hip; only you will get hurt.
Ostomates are too fast at saying, "if they can't take you as you are, then get rid of them." It may be just a little time is needed for this person to get used to the idea of the ostomy. Moreover, I would hope he would understand this condition is one of necessity; it's not optional.
If you did not like the guy, you would not have posted the problem.
No, don't just throw him out; he means something to you. Get out of the relationship what you seek. That is to say, get what you want.
I do not know the exact statistics of it. I would have to venture a very large percentage of ostomates are single. I don't like it, but it seems to be true. A lot of us have lost companions due to the ostomy. Until a little more compassion for others is brought into our daily lives, I am afraid ostomates will face an uphill battle with the acceptance problem. Not by all, just some.
Sorry for being so long-winded; I just am.
Rick.....
Past Member
Sep 24, 2009 2:21 am
Rick has said it very well. I do think we have to walk a fine line between acceptance of the body alteration while still feeling good about ourselves and at the same time realizing that it may not be easy for a partner to deal with this extra "appendage" either. Hell, even I don't like looking at the bag sometimes so how can I expect a partner to be crazy about it? That being said , there is a difference between being honest and being plain hurtful when a partner shares their thoughts about the bag. I really haven't had much experience in this area since my surgery but what I have had has not been bad. If you limit your intimate experiences to people who care about you as a person first and you can both be honest and open with each other and can both speak freely on the subject.....I think everything will work out as it ought to. And we should never forget that even those with "perfect bodies" don't necessarily get the perfect love life. Emotional health is an absolute neccessity I think in attaining that.
But to get back to your original question: I like those strapless tube tops. You can pull the top down to fit around your waist and cover just what you want as a sort of cumberbund thing that holds the bag in place and out of the way and frees up everything else. And then there is always the "merry widow".....Go to the lingerie shop and get creative!
But to get back to your original question: I like those strapless tube tops. You can pull the top down to fit around your waist and cover just what you want as a sort of cumberbund thing that holds the bag in place and out of the way and frees up everything else. And then there is always the "merry widow".....Go to the lingerie shop and get creative!
beyondpar
Sep 24, 2009 2:40 am
I am going to agree now totally with Juno, in that don t throw the man out for a simple remark that might not have been worded too well...........Just as a reminder to my new friends on this board. I didnt want my Osotmy for 24 years and suffered miserably while losing everything in my life, job, wife finances and mental health..........So in turth how can we expect even a healthy person to come to grips so quick., or even put the right words together to express his feelings for something extremely new and unique..........It s a journey for all of us ostomates as well as partners in our lives...........Those that make it through God Bless you ........While my marriage didnt I am extremely blessed for having made it though the mental anguish and physical demise and I am extremely healthy today in all aspects.......
So just as a reminder we are on here to help each other without blame of others..We must see it through our eyes and how we as ostomates need to approach the situation.
The best thing we all have on here is each other and I love it.........
Thank you all for your kind words about me and we all on here hope that Janee can now address it with her man in a way that brings them closer and not farther apart..........
Good luck Janee
So just as a reminder we are on here to help each other without blame of others..We must see it through our eyes and how we as ostomates need to approach the situation.
The best thing we all have on here is each other and I love it.........
Thank you all for your kind words about me and we all on here hope that Janee can now address it with her man in a way that brings them closer and not farther apart..........
Good luck Janee
janice
Sep 24, 2009 9:31 am
I am happy to say I am one of the fortunate ones. The last 3 yrs. have been hell with my health & the second time around with my ostomies, and my hubby has been fantastic through all of this! He understands my fears & anxieties about the bags. I couldn't ask for anything more. We have been together for 30 yrs!
rainboww
Sep 24, 2009 8:30 pm
maybe i didnt look at in the way others are seeing this...mmmmn,suppose it would be hard for a partner to be "ok" straight away with their partners ostomy...i just know how devestating a remark like this would be if this was sed to me....i have an ileostomy,had it at both sides now..but heh thats a different story,.!!!!
was in a relationship for 9 years,.he accepted it straight away relationship ended........started a relationship 5 months back...and ynow what...i hide it from him.i never let him see it...longer time goes by,the harder its getting....so to have negative remarks about covering it up.well this is all the things that i fear!!!!!!!x
was in a relationship for 9 years,.he accepted it straight away relationship ended........started a relationship 5 months back...and ynow what...i hide it from him.i never let him see it...longer time goes by,the harder its getting....so to have negative remarks about covering it up.well this is all the things that i fear!!!!!!!x
rainboww
Sep 24, 2009 8:35 pm
how on earth do i expect others to accept this...when 10 years down the line.....i still cannot accept it myself...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
facingmyfears
Sep 24, 2009 9:38 pm
Juno......
gotta comment about ----'Ostomates are too fast at saying, "if they can't take you as you are, then get rid of them".
It seems that you're suggesting some of us jumped the gun on our reactions to Janee's situation. I beg to differ. I think everyone was speaking out of love and concern....and I vehemently believe that a comment about covering up the 'ugly' stoma is emotionally abusive .....and no one should settle for that, stoma or no stoma, and regardless of the demographic metrics in the 'dating pool'.
Janee, hang in there dear girl. I'm not suggesting that you dump the dude....just don't settle for being treated in a way that makes you feel anything but beautiful and special, because that's what you are.....beautiful and special.
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Sharon
gotta comment about ----'Ostomates are too fast at saying, "if they can't take you as you are, then get rid of them".
It seems that you're suggesting some of us jumped the gun on our reactions to Janee's situation. I beg to differ. I think everyone was speaking out of love and concern....and I vehemently believe that a comment about covering up the 'ugly' stoma is emotionally abusive .....and no one should settle for that, stoma or no stoma, and regardless of the demographic metrics in the 'dating pool'.
Janee, hang in there dear girl. I'm not suggesting that you dump the dude....just don't settle for being treated in a way that makes you feel anything but beautiful and special, because that's what you are.....beautiful and special.
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Sharon
junopete
Sep 25, 2009 8:58 am
Facing my fears,
My post in regard to the situation Janee had was not about just Janee. From reading hundreds of posts, I drew that conclusion.
I have read post after post, where the ostomate has been hurt by some offensive remark about their ostomy.
The reaction from others is just to throw the bum out. Anyone that makes a remark like that is no good. We can't fight a negative comment with another negative comment or action. It is not the way to handle it.
We as ostomates have to look above that, be above that. I realize it can be tough to have that positive mental attitude.
Stop and think for a minute, ostomates are tough; look at what we all have gone through, and we made it. Sure, a few bruises both physically and, most importantly, emotionally. But we made it. We know we are not alone; we know there are other ostomates that know what we each have and the rollercoaster we are going through. However, the people that have not gone through this experience simply don't have a clue. That is why they make the off-the-cuff remarks.
If these same people saw an old person that could hardly walk, they wouldn't comment about how slow he/she was. If this person saw someone missing a limb, they would not comment because those things they understand. They don't understand ostomies. That is the problem.
I agree wholeheartedly the comment made to Janee about her bag was offensive, hurtful, and without kindness or compassion. The guy was a jerk; the problem is there are a lot of jerks out there.
When I read Janee's post, it hurt me. I took it as an insult not only to Janee and myself but all ostomates. My first reaction was to fight back, tell this so-and-so to piss off.
That is the wrong reaction; it will not solve anything but hurt us.
Ostomy carries with it a connotation of unclean, filth because it deals with bodily waste. I don't like it, but that is the perception that many people have. Please remember I said many, not all.
To try and strike back will only make things worse. We have to try and educate. I understand it can be hard to educate morons and folks who do not think before they say something.
I volunteer at the VA hospital. I see all kinds of stuff: mental cases, amputees; the list goes on, it is very sad. When ostomy is mentioned, it is entirely thought of in a different light.
The very first thing that comes to mind in most people is waste. That is OK because that is what an ostomy deals with. What the people do not understand is their butt is a heck of a lot more bacteria-ridden than our stoma sites ever will be. In other words, they are the shitty ones, not us, but they don't know it.
Because they don't understand an ostomy and how it has to be taken care of.
If they took care of their butts like we do our stomas, they would have the most pampered butts in the world! And the cleanest!
You know me, long-winded, sorry. Good to hear from you.
I am sure I will get flack over this post. Yes, my spelling is bad.
Rick.....
My post in regard to the situation Janee had was not about just Janee. From reading hundreds of posts, I drew that conclusion.
I have read post after post, where the ostomate has been hurt by some offensive remark about their ostomy.
The reaction from others is just to throw the bum out. Anyone that makes a remark like that is no good. We can't fight a negative comment with another negative comment or action. It is not the way to handle it.
We as ostomates have to look above that, be above that. I realize it can be tough to have that positive mental attitude.
Stop and think for a minute, ostomates are tough; look at what we all have gone through, and we made it. Sure, a few bruises both physically and, most importantly, emotionally. But we made it. We know we are not alone; we know there are other ostomates that know what we each have and the rollercoaster we are going through. However, the people that have not gone through this experience simply don't have a clue. That is why they make the off-the-cuff remarks.
If these same people saw an old person that could hardly walk, they wouldn't comment about how slow he/she was. If this person saw someone missing a limb, they would not comment because those things they understand. They don't understand ostomies. That is the problem.
I agree wholeheartedly the comment made to Janee about her bag was offensive, hurtful, and without kindness or compassion. The guy was a jerk; the problem is there are a lot of jerks out there.
When I read Janee's post, it hurt me. I took it as an insult not only to Janee and myself but all ostomates. My first reaction was to fight back, tell this so-and-so to piss off.
That is the wrong reaction; it will not solve anything but hurt us.
Ostomy carries with it a connotation of unclean, filth because it deals with bodily waste. I don't like it, but that is the perception that many people have. Please remember I said many, not all.
To try and strike back will only make things worse. We have to try and educate. I understand it can be hard to educate morons and folks who do not think before they say something.
I volunteer at the VA hospital. I see all kinds of stuff: mental cases, amputees; the list goes on, it is very sad. When ostomy is mentioned, it is entirely thought of in a different light.
The very first thing that comes to mind in most people is waste. That is OK because that is what an ostomy deals with. What the people do not understand is their butt is a heck of a lot more bacteria-ridden than our stoma sites ever will be. In other words, they are the shitty ones, not us, but they don't know it.
Because they don't understand an ostomy and how it has to be taken care of.
If they took care of their butts like we do our stomas, they would have the most pampered butts in the world! And the cleanest!
You know me, long-winded, sorry. Good to hear from you.
I am sure I will get flack over this post. Yes, my spelling is bad.
Rick.....
tarababy
Sep 25, 2009 10:48 am
Rick, I admire your courage to say the things you have said.....WELL SAID!!!!..I for one believe exactly what your saying...Ignorance is a biatch...We all see it, some just handle/react to it differently,or choose not to see it..Therefore it turns to personal hurt .Some people just dont think before they speak...but with understanding comes tolerance and compassion....Best wishes to everyone....Tara
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facingmyfears
Sep 25, 2009 6:13 pm
Rick,
How about we agree to disagree....shall we? You have your perspective based on your life experiences; I think it's very honorable that you volunteered for the VA. You've seen a lot of pain and suffering in that capacity. I too have experiences which have shaped my view of the world. I volunteer and am an advocate for abused and battered women. Thus, I've seen my share of pain and suffering. That said, those 'red flag' comments are a bit more visceral to me..I call a spade a spade..people don't change their core personalities and generally the aggregate of those demeaning 'comments' tears away at a person's self esteem over time. I see it happen over and over again. I was raised by an abusive parent who made demeaning remarks to me, my sisters and my mother on a regular basis. I had relatives who sugar coated those remarks and recommended that we turn the other cheek. Weak advice(you might not think so). When I turned 17, I left home and never looked back; I vowed to NEVER stay in an abusive situation...of any kind. I protect my self esteem and self worth as if they were precious jewels. As adults, we have a choice. I have honored my promise and as a result, I have a fullfilling life -- despite a bumpy road with cancer -- and most importantly, I have healthy relationships.
Janee, I hope you're well and happy....and boy, do you know how to ignite a passionate discussion!!!!
I've said everything I'm going to say with this discussion thread.
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Sharon
How about we agree to disagree....shall we? You have your perspective based on your life experiences; I think it's very honorable that you volunteered for the VA. You've seen a lot of pain and suffering in that capacity. I too have experiences which have shaped my view of the world. I volunteer and am an advocate for abused and battered women. Thus, I've seen my share of pain and suffering. That said, those 'red flag' comments are a bit more visceral to me..I call a spade a spade..people don't change their core personalities and generally the aggregate of those demeaning 'comments' tears away at a person's self esteem over time. I see it happen over and over again. I was raised by an abusive parent who made demeaning remarks to me, my sisters and my mother on a regular basis. I had relatives who sugar coated those remarks and recommended that we turn the other cheek. Weak advice(you might not think so). When I turned 17, I left home and never looked back; I vowed to NEVER stay in an abusive situation...of any kind. I protect my self esteem and self worth as if they were precious jewels. As adults, we have a choice. I have honored my promise and as a result, I have a fullfilling life -- despite a bumpy road with cancer -- and most importantly, I have healthy relationships.
Janee, I hope you're well and happy....and boy, do you know how to ignite a passionate discussion!!!!
I've said everything I'm going to say with this discussion thread.
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Sharon
Faith4Today
Sep 25, 2009 8:26 pm
If you think SEXY think stoma cap and they make sexy little round covers for the little cap like a red devil or happy face black silk. One big round red lips is not so bad to look at or may be an arrow pointing the way for beginners. Normally you can time your out put and placing a small cap with a cute cover might just get him past it. If he doesn't have to watch you change it. I remember I cried for weeks every time I had to handle it or empty it. I think it scares people to think they also are vulnerable to disease and accidents that cause deformities. Give him another chance an tell him you are willing to help him get past it with a few surprises. Later you can have a frank discussion to see if it's helping.
beyondpar
Sep 25, 2009 11:04 pm
To Facing and Juno and everyone else on this thread.........WOW.....good job on a tender subject matter for all of us........I would like to add that its our life journeys that help us to be either understanding or upset by that simple remark which on one hand seems so friggin insensitive and on the other so common a feeling by society about the Ostomy thing whether its said aloud or not..........I felt very much the same about not getting one and then 6 months after having one , however my being upset about it has gone and I am so thankful for havig it, for it has given me more than anyone on this site will ever know...I want to thank everyone for some real sharing , that in and of itself makes me so happy and its through this kind of sharing that we get to peace with our situations at some point............
Juno has it right when he say society will never get it..........But we ostomates will always get it and thats why we share...its to get us over the humps of every day living within this society...And thats why Im here...........I feel so close to all of you.....Again way cool......Thanks again to all who posted....This was one helluva thread.........Loved it.......
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Michael
Juno has it right when he say society will never get it..........But we ostomates will always get it and thats why we share...its to get us over the humps of every day living within this society...And thats why Im here...........I feel so close to all of you.....Again way cool......Thanks again to all who posted....This was one helluva thread.........Loved it.......
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Michael
janice
Sep 26, 2009 9:07 am
I agree Michael! I thank God for this forum!!! I mean, I knew I wasn't the only one who ever had to have ostomies but, it is so nice to have a caring place to come to & talk, vent, scream, share, whatever! No one TRULY understands what an osomate goes thru except another ostomate!
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lottagelady
Sep 28, 2009 8:01 am
Hi, it makes me feel more comfortable wearing something over my bag, though my partner wouldn't care if I did or didn't!
I used to use the knickers from:
http://whiterosecollection.com/acatalog/Romance_Originals.html
and have found that my partner finds them quite kinky!
I have recently found this one which is cheaper (and available on prescription from GP's in the UK) which also does the trick!
http://www.stomawear.uk.com/waistband.htm
Good luck with it all, Rachel x
I used to use the knickers from:
http://whiterosecollection.com/acatalog/Romance_Originals.html
and have found that my partner finds them quite kinky!
I have recently found this one which is cheaper (and available on prescription from GP's in the UK) which also does the trick!
http://www.stomawear.uk.com/waistband.htm
Good luck with it all, Rachel x
janee
Oct 08, 2009 11:28 pm
Hi Everyone
Well finally I have got to the bottom of his problem, he had not actually accepted my ostomy due to something the surgeon said after my last op. I soon put him straight and I think he now understands the reasons I had for having my ostomy. Excellent news on the intimacy side, I suggest you all look at www.betweenyouandme.com.au. I hope I am allowed to do this!! There you will find some great products for intimate moments. I have tried them and they are excellent!! Thank you all for your replies to my question, it made me feel really great to hear from others with ostomies. Life is looking a lot more positive for me now and hopefully it will continue that way. By the way Janice, you have my name, and we have been together for 40years next march. Once again there are products out there to help us and thanks to you all for you caring replies.
Well finally I have got to the bottom of his problem, he had not actually accepted my ostomy due to something the surgeon said after my last op. I soon put him straight and I think he now understands the reasons I had for having my ostomy. Excellent news on the intimacy side, I suggest you all look at www.betweenyouandme.com.au. I hope I am allowed to do this!! There you will find some great products for intimate moments. I have tried them and they are excellent!! Thank you all for your replies to my question, it made me feel really great to hear from others with ostomies. Life is looking a lot more positive for me now and hopefully it will continue that way. By the way Janice, you have my name, and we have been together for 40years next march. Once again there are products out there to help us and thanks to you all for you caring replies.
janice
Oct 09, 2009 9:00 am
So happy things are going well for you. Maybe we'll catch up in the chat room sometime?
crohnsfriend
Oct 26, 2009 7:02 pm
It will hide you Ostomy bag during intimate moments.
It was made with watersports in mind so you can rest assure it will stay in place.
Find one on Ebay unde Ostomy Stealth Belt or got to the website at
stealthbelt . com
May you Intimate advetures be merry.
God Bless.
It was made with watersports in mind so you can rest assure it will stay in place.
Find one on Ebay unde Ostomy Stealth Belt or got to the website at
stealthbelt . com
May you Intimate advetures be merry.
God Bless.
Maryallison
Nov 07, 2009 9:30 pm
Take a look at beyondpar's profile and see how handsome he is! I wouldn't care if he had bags hanging from his ears and arms and knees ...................
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Past Member
Nov 08, 2009 2:19 am
look out boys, she`s cut a pony out of the herd and is gettin the saddle outa the barn!!!
ok mary....just teaseing you a bit.......
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Gus
Nov 08, 2009 7:02 am
I met my wife on the internet before I had a bag on. My Ileostomy was done a year or so before I moved to meet her and ultimately stayed. We have been together 7 years now and never one has she shunned the bag. I have knelt on it and covered her in crap, I had popped it, dropped it and degassed in a most tender moment,, but she did wet the bed laughing so it was fair. I hate having the ileostomy but theres nothing I can do to change it so just get on with it and live best you can. As i'm typing thios were not speaking but I will say no matter how much she goves me the shits I'll always love her,,
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