Dealing with Negative Comments About Your Urostomy

Replies
11
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4755
vpl
Jun 27, 2014 6:47 am

When told that I have a urostomy, some people's immediate reaction is, "Oh yuck! Fancy peeing into a bag!" My reply is, "Oh yuck! Fancy carrying pee inside your body. How unhygienic is that!"

How do you respond when people act in this way? Apart from telling them to "Foxtrot Oscar."

When you have an ostomy, you have to keep your sense of humor (SOH).

moonshine
Jun 30, 2014 4:59 am

Well, I have an ileostomy.......so your internal large bowel carries around 5 feet of 'crap', while my pouch carries only 5 inches of 'crap'........so who is really the one that is full of it (sh*t)

Gray Logo for MeetAnOstoMate

iMacG5

When I found this web site, I didn't think its name had anything to do with actually meeting an ostomate but I later learned there were some folks who did meet and develop relationships. How good is that? That wasn't my intention. I definitely didn't want anyone to meet me. I felt broken and wasn't prepared to express those feelings. I thought it was a place where ostomates wrote about themselves, posed questions, shared thoughts, told jokes and, sometimes, just vented. I thought of it as a community of folks with similar interests and various degrees of experience. Mostly I found some of the most caring, selfless, wise and understanding people I ever imagined. I was so impressed with some of the writings; not because of their literary value but the way in which they addressed such a very complex environment. I read hundreds of exchanges and admired the way folks cared for each other. I became hopeful with my own situation and looked forward to the next day's offerings. Certainly some contributors stood out with their experience or particular skills in addressing some things but it seemed like a total effort with synergistic results. I felt blessed to have found this site. I still do.
Mike

SheliaBaby
Jul 04, 2014 9:56 pm

Just tell them that you don't fancy peeing on yourself or dying either.

mario10zeus
Jul 04, 2014 11:43 pm

Just tell them to foxtrot oscar

Casey & George
Jul 06, 2014 3:05 am

As Shrek said, "Better out than in." Tell them to piss off.

 

Stories of Living Life to the Fullest from Ostomy Advocates I Hollister

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beatrice
Jul 17, 2014 3:53 pm

Same category of people as those who have said, "A bag... I'd rather die than have that." Morons... insensitive morons at that. Not worth an answer as far as I'm concerned. A raised eyebrow is all they get from me.

Past Member
Jun 07, 2025 11:51 am

Im so sorry. Thats awful. This is why I keep my medical stuff to myself 

Nightrose
Jun 07, 2025 7:58 pm

I had someone tell me that her husband wouldn't cope with her having a bag. She also remarked that she hoped I double-bagged my used stoma bags.

Some people just like to feel superior.

WINDSOCK
Jun 16, 2025 6:55 pm

Are you stating that as a question? Foxtrot Oscar are the letters F and O from the “Pilot's Phonetic Alphabet.” We use a code when communicating with the Tower, Air Control, and fellow pilots. The noise in a small plane cockpit, primarily engine noise, prevents being understood by just saying the letter. Too many letters sound alike, even in normal conversation. I'm sure that you have heard, Alpha Bravo Charlie. Those are the letters A, B, C. So, inserting F O into the statement, you can guess his meaning.

bukowski
Jul 05, 2025 2:30 am

I was unaware I did this until a few people (coworkers) brought it to my attention. When I'm interacting with someone who says something that I don't have the time or patience for, apparently, I will just walk away as they are speaking. Maybe it's rude, but I'm 47 now. It's self-preservation at this point. The best response is no response and remove yourself.

WINDSOCK
Jul 05, 2025 5:28 am

The people that say, “A bag…I'd rather die than have that.” I'd answer, “Well, I chose to live, and you?” “Well, I guess you're ☠️ dead!”

As Comanche Chief Ten Bears said to Josie Wales, “It shall be life.”

Richard

Maried
Jul 05, 2025 6:00 am

When I first got my colostomy, I told random people, coworkers, and friends... and my mom told all my relatives.

Now, for the past 30 years, I only tell people on a need-to-know basis; for example, if they are going to see me nude... Example: doctor or a serious romantic relationship. It is no one's business how I poop.

And I do not want to be known at work as the lady with the bag. There are a lot of uninformed people who think having an ostomy is a death sentence... it gave me a better life.