Hello Mike. Good post! This sort of thing often crosses my mind when I look at the profiles.
I have always been involved with helping young people and feel that their preferences for talking to people of their own age are perfectly understandable.
However, so often people's preferences are based on what they would like to happen rather than what happens in the real world. Sometimes,the people that we would like to talk to most are either not available or they don't want to listen. It is then that well chosen words from someone else can open up their minds to other alternatives. Sometimes us oldies can just try to be friendly and share what we know despite the so-called generation gap.
I have found that 'very' brief, pertinent contributions at the right time have the effect of catching their attention without them thinking that I wish to continue into a longer conversation which might be embarassing for them. After a few such brief interventions, invariably young people will gradually be attracted to what we have to say and deliberately make verbal or non-verbal contact so that we will pay them some attention. Basically, it's more about 'listening' to them than it is about speaking to them. Brief, pertinent comments indicate that they have been listened to and that someone is interested enough in what they say and to respond, more or less on their terms. I really do not believe that there is a generation gap that cannot be bridged by way of kindness, understanding and perseverance. Many young people lack the knowledge and experience that can come with the aging process. They might think that the intense experiences they are having as young people cannot be understood by those who are not experiencing the same thing, at the same time. It hardly occurs to them that having grown to a ripe old age, that we too have been through similar experiences and come out of them with slightly different perpectives. It would be unusual if this type of narrow thinking process was not applied to most aspects of their lives. Having a stoma is therefore no exception. How can we oldies possibly understand what young people are going through during this very difficult period in their lives?
I'm all in favour of making sure the emotional and psychological support is on offer to young people for those occasions where they cannot find it in the places that they are so intently looking. Being 'there' for people does not necessarily mean that we need to interfere, or even comunicate verbally. It means that we need to be able to let them know that we are there for them if, and only if, they think we can help. My own experience has shown that slipping in some written rhyming verse that summarises their angst, has a significant affect on thier willingness to accept 'outside ' communication. some appropriate rhyming verse can bridge the generation gap because, in terms of the emotional content of such rhymes, there is no generation gap.
Human beings have a tendency to 'feel' similar emotions no matter what age they are.
Best wishes
Bill
