Dear Marsha, Thank you so much for sharing so much personal information with me. You actually sound a lot like myself in that you're open, warm, seems to enjoy writing, and are a BBW with iloestomy, and love to travel. Listening to you about "having your wings clipped," plus the sudden onset of Glioblastoma on my younger, very fit, slim, otherwise healthy late husband, forced me to realize that anything can happen to anyone at anytime. Imagine, my husband & I literally had our airline tickets to Hawaii in our hands (we were going to spend 36 days on several Hawaiian islands), when he suddenly got the first headache of his life, and started to feel dizzy. We were in Florida on vacation at the time. On the very day that we were supposed to flight out to Maui, was the day he had his first brain operation, right there, in Fort Lauderdale (to the tune of $280,000 USD. Thank goodness just about every Canadian I know, takes travel insurance when we travel to the USA.) After 3 more brain surgeries back home (Montreal), I lost the love of my life. He fought a tough battle for 15 months. Even before all of that, I knew that life was precious and could be taken away at any time. But this sad tradjedy pushed me to live each day to the fullest, and launched me into trying to complete my bucket list. My late husband made me promise that I would go to both Maui and Italy in the two years following his passing. I did get to Maui, but not to Italy. You see, without even knowing or feeling it, I fractured my foot, and ended up NOT being allowed to put any weight on my foot for 3 months. So Italy is still there waiting for me to explore it. But at least this year, on my 66th birthday, I went ziplining! It was thrilling.
It's taken me 2 years to contemplate that I may enjoy having a companion with whom to have intelligent coversations, and to go out to dinner and movie with; and of course, travelling with a partner would be more fun and less expensive. But finding such a companion is definitely NOT easy! Many men on other websites are looking for a serious relationship....meaning a life long partner. Both my daughters have relocated to be near me, now that I am a widow, and I regularly enjoy my grandchildren so much, that I would NOT relocate. Meanwhile, being 66, and fairly set in my ways, I don't think I am ready to share my living space with anyone either....although, perhaps, if the right person came along, I'd reconsider.
Certainly no one on this website or another ostomoate website has even approached me -- not even one message. I feel that most people are on this website to discuss health issues with their ostomy....and I simply don't have any issues.
Just recently, on a regular dating site, I made a connection with a brilliant scientist from North Carolina. I know in my brain that it's all wrong because he is much younger than me (20 years) and more importantly at a different stage of his life and career. He works really hard; I'm retired and have all my days free. To further complicate matters, it's a long distance from me. But he seems to be infatuated with me ---and claims that he has always been attracted to more mature woman who are plus size. He, on the other hand, is tall, slim and very good looking. We've become email pals, write daily to one another. We have a date set aside when we will meet for lunch on my bi-yearly drive south to Florida. Corressponding with him has evoked some sentimental /romantic feelings in me, so at least I've learned that I am ready to open up my heart a to someone. I haven't told him about my ileostomy for selfish reasons. I don't want him to run in the opposite direction. Also, I don't think our relationship will turn out to be physical. Meanwhile his mother (and I) have been encouragin him to date women his age, and to hurry up and start a family before it is too late for him. I guess if he finds the ideal mate before the end of March, we won't meet up at all. While he's looking on line, so am I. But so far I have not " clicked" with anyone except for this young romantic poet/brilliant scientist. If any more or new romance enters my life, I think I will write to you again....but perhaps through hotmail.
It's been a pleasure conversing with you. Take care, Julie
