Aslo for intimate times after my exausting search...I ended up at a Bridal and Tux shop and bought athe cheepest cumberbun they had. Its comfy, softer and covers very well.
|As for you fellas, personally, I wouldn't care if my male partner had it hid or not, wouldn't make a bit of difference to me...but besides the tape idea which can be uncomfortable, you can also try Ace Bandage.|
Until this very second, I never wondered if it would bother me. I admit it. It would. Having that thing dangle and sway would be quite a distraction for me. That's why I cover.
I agree tough. I so miss skin on skin. My covers are small and pretty but wraps all the way around. It would be nice to have the back free.
I use a stretchy waistband thing I got from a stoma suppliers in the UK. It is lycra and covers over the bag completely leaving everything else accessible, available and unhindered.
Either that or because I tend to sleep in small boxer short type things I tend to take my top off, and leave the shorts on if its more spontaneous.
The bag only gets in the way with some sex, it doesnt get in the way of other things you can do that is fun and pleasurable.
I'm new here (and a new Ileostomate - Dec. 15th) ... where exactly are the photos?
My 3 biggest worries were/are blockages, hernias and sex (so far I've had one of those - blockage).
Hubby is loving, totally not grossed out and says I'm still sexy and he's more than ready for intercourse (we've been intimate other ways right from the day I got back home .)
Me, I'm still sore/healing and would feel better with the The Poo covered up for intercourse. See surgeon next week for the 'official ok' to start. I'm thinking that covering The Poo with a fabric 'something' would feel better against hubby's skin and it would ease my mind. I'd feel prettier - sigh - what the female mind can do to us!
Love the frank and funny discussions!
info in profile
they have some quite good ones in their romance originals collection, or even comfizz do just a plain black band which I use too, just keeps it out of the way...
Also really like this and have ordered one: http://www.myheartties.com/coverlet.php?osCsid=db54617c6dd9ec2f98ffad3d262236e5 Not cheap, but I just loved the light pink one.
Was concerned that my ostomy pouch was kinda big/long and talked to the rep. Of course, you empty, and roll fold the pouch up ... she assured me it would fit. And that most ileostomates find it's fine for an hour.
At hubby and my age, an hour is more than enough time .
Has he seen a doc? If he's healthy, there are those little blue pills . That's quite an age difference, maybe he's just not feeling 'it' anymore and doesn't want to disapoint you. Perhaps a complete physical checkup is due?
Lots of guys seem to think that hugging/cuddling/touching has to lead to penetration. So if they are not feeling like doing the penetrating (for whatever reason) they also don't do the cuddling, etc. And it's no secret that women love the huggy foreplay part of intimacy alot and don't necessarily need it to lead to penetration. Does he know that you would be ok with lots of hugging and touching for now ... saying you're sad and don't know why that has stopped?
Keep trying to talk about it - that's what I'd do. And the doc check up.
Don't lose heart,
"Can't be arsed" says to me that he may be as depressed about it (or maybe something else?) as you are, but you know men, they just don't generally 'do' doctors until they really have to ....
I really don't know what to suggest, except that if it were me I would probably have to really confront him about it - but then I can be a bit of a stroppy mare! Dunno - is everything else okay with your relationship?
Good luck with it all
Well it was in Oz and I have seen girls still wear them.
Only go with Bella Band though - there are other ones out there that LOOK cool (like Hip-tee) but don't work as well.
I also buy the smaller sized Gap pregnancy jeans, because they have this heavy, 4-inch wide band at the top - it sits right over the stoma. So fabulous! I buy them as shorts and skirts too.
You can also find black rouched top tankini bathing suits from Maternity shops, buy the size smaller. Then get tummy-control black underwear (which looks just like bathing suit bottoms). The extra heavy tummy control panel flattens down the appliance and bag and voila! No one can ever tell! I have even been able to wear a REGULAR bikini that had a wide waist band to the bottoms, that worked the same way.
For swimming, I live with Opsite Flexafix tape to "frame" my appliance. I have a swiming pool and live by the ocean and I can go swimming 2 to 3 times a day and it won't peel off, but also won't hurt my ultra sensitive skin. It is basically Tegaderm, but on a roll. Awesome stuff! And I surf as well!
Anis from Calcutta, India
I have my share of hangups accepting it but find it refreshing reading on this board seeing others sharing some of the same what I go through both mentally and physically.
I found this thread especially close to home & hope to add value and make new friends while learning from others.
I have to say that I have a wonderful husband who was so happy with the colostomy sugery I had that he wanted to send the surgeon a thank you card. He's not always been the most sensitive person but he's was willing to work thru this. We've had to live with my Crohn's and all the complications that have come with it for the last 25 years. The ostomy gave me such a new lease on life and our sex life that was practically non existant before is now better than when we were newly weds! The bag doesn't bother him at all and he's just as willing to work around it as I am.
I know there have to be more non-ostomy people out there who are just as understanding so don't give up looking for that special someone. Just give people a chance and you may be surprsised buy what you find.
My best advice is this ... be upfront and honest about it. I tell people that I may potentially be intimate with well before we hit the bed. If they can't deal with it..then it's their loss! I have even put it in my profile on dating sites. Believe me, I haven't had any trouble getting laid!
Check out the sites...they have stuff for men and women..and some of them are really nice!!
I wear a tight stretchy singlet top to bed, it can be slid down off the shoulders and rolled down so it holds my bag in nice and tight and out of sight.
I also have a black boob tube that I bought for the same purpose.
|Hello Everyone. My this feels strange. I have lived with my ostomy for 14 years now and am ok with how I am. But why is it that everytime I get close to a man and finally get the courage to tell him, he suddenly disappears? Are men really that shallow?|
But not all, just most of them, hopefully not including me.