I think I posted something similar about a year ago. A few nights back, I logged on & WOW!! 15 or 17 people online. So I thought I'd check out the chat room---NOTHING!! No problem, I'll do a little one-on-one chat....NOTHING, nobody bothered to pick up. I banged out a couple of messages (Thank you to the people who had the courtesy to reply & to the others, no big deal). So then I guessed they are all in the forum with questions, answers, talk & jokes!! Nope, just stuff from the regular contributors (Thank goodness for some of you great peeps--You know who you are)
Then I got to thinking, what exactly are 17 people doing on here??? Reading profiles?? Looking at photos??? Contemplating their navels & trying to work out the meaning of life?? I pop in & out of here all day just to make sure the thing is working..
I also use Jeep, aircraft, historical & railway sites & forums & to tell you the truth, you can't shut some of those guys up.....Perhaps most ostomates are just naturally quiet & withdrawn---All I can say is without the dozen or so hardcore posters, this site can get very boring... So for goodness' sake, join in ..........
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Hello, I would reply if someone wanted to chat with me!!!! But sometimes I have tried talking one-on-one too, but it doesn't seem to work. I thought I was doing something wrong! I don't know?
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I have wondered if names show up on the list if we are simply online, maybe on another site. It says online members; maybe we are not necessarily in the room.
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Thank God!! I have wondered the same exact thing!!! What on earth are they doing here???? I can never get that chat thingy to work either!
Hugs & touches, Hannah
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Admit everyone has me on ignore, I'm so damaged by this
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it just sends me purple
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Again, I have tried a couple of times recently, and I am sure it is a fault with the chat room - I enter, and exactly at the same time, someone exits, or it says there is someone there, and there isn't! And that last time I tried, it was our friend Gus, so I am sure he wouldn't have ignored me on peril of something! Rach xx
I have tried the one-on-one chat. I think people think I might have gone to make a sandwich or something else, 'cause I type so damn slow it must surely be annoying for people.
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Ed
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Chat room never works for me (or if it does, it's just me, myself, and I in there!), one-to-one chats I've had maybe a couple of those since I joined up, so I usually just email anyone I think might be interested in replying! Seems to be the only way I can chat with you peeps!
Cheers all,
Jo
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Well, I'm new here and jumped in to share a few chuckles and giggles. I've noticed that every site/group/forum has its regulars, which are usually few compared to the majority of non-posters. I realize that the more people that contribute, the more knowledge, experience, and resources can be pooled, but I also understand that some people wish to be around others in similar circumstances rather than in front of them, and as such, would rather choose to share their personal info more privately with a select few that they relate to/connect with on a personal level. I imagine that some of the non-posters are perhaps more in need of support than those that do post. Many may still be struggling to accept their ostomy, or perhaps they don't wish to reveal the fact that they have one on a public forum - they may simply be shy and not confident with their ostomy yet or in talking publicly about intimate body matters - they may not feel qualified to give advice or contribute and leave it to what they consider to be the veteran posters - maybe they prefer to communicate by private message (I'm not comfortable in chatrooms or IM'ing - personal preference) - or they're just waiting for the right topic/person to provoke their response - I'm sure there are many genuine reasons. I would think some gain a great deal of help and comfort through reading the posts of others, and in my opinion, it's more important that they are gaining something positive from the forum and not so much "how"? I totally understand the need/demand for participation, though! But I do believe there must be a lot of gratitude and appreciation behind the scenes for those who do post and share. I'm doing my bit... provoking people to post and tell me to button it...
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I agree with you except on one point; those of us that post may not need as much support and whatnot.
I actually post BECAUSE I need lots of support and have so many questions.
The only advice I give is through personal experience, not on being an expert.
Like I have said in many past posts, I don't know what I'd do without these people on here.
Have a great day, Hannah
Hello Hannah!
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Oh, I only meant that some of them might be more needy of support because they can't talk about it openly and might be bottling their emotions up. I have talked to people I met on another online group who emailed me privately but didn't post in the group because they had difficulty coming to terms with their new body image or didn't feel able to talk about it to just anyone. One was a man who'd had his for 40 years and said it was the first time he'd opened up and discussed his feelings about it - he'd just "got on with it" for all those years but then was in the same boat as I was then, facing a completion operation or the possibility of developing cancer - and sort of stuck between a rock and a hard place, mentally and emotionally. It made me wonder if there were others who were unable to talk about their feelings at all. We all deal with things differently or even feel differently about the same thing at different times. (If that makes sense. Haha) But anyway, that's who/what I had in mind when I said that.
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For me, there are times when I choose to be practical and just get on with it (which I have to anyway and do) and I don't want to think about it or talk about it. Especially if I start overthinking it. I have to remind myself, my stoma is just a very small part of me like any other body part, and when it's behaving itself it's not really a big deal to me. Sometimes I think a situation can be as hard as you make it or as hard as it is. But that's just me and how I deal with mine. I guess I'm here now because I've recently made mine permanent and so I'm in the "bag for life" club now and I have no idea how it will work out long-term. A lot of great advice here on how to manage it and tips and tricks that I'm taking note of! I'm very thankful for that. I don't want mine to wear out or have to get a new one. Haha One of my biggest concerns is getting a hernia because I'm not very good at pacing myself or asking others for help.
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So it's great that people take the time to volunteer information and support here.
Hope you have a good start to the week, Hannah!
Love and kudos to you all! x
Thanks for your input, Raspberri
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I tend to dodge in and out of here on a daily basis, and being a urostomate, I tend to be in the minority and can't really advise colostomates much as I don't have personal experience of their problems. Anyway, it's great to have you here, and yes, among the people who do post, the support is great.
Hannah!! I'm right behind you --ish, sort of, in a nice sort of way, if you catch my drift????
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I'm here because my nappy fell off again and now they have nowhere to put it,
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oh I too am right behind Hannah in a most inappropriate way
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Poor Gus, you're getting picked on just because you're there. By the way, I saw my doc today. Guess what? I got a hernia, the one thing I had hoped NOT to get. Now I gotta figure out what to do with it. Nothing, probably, unless really necessary. Keep the faith, man. Ed
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Hey Ed, have you tried reducing the hernia yourself? It can be done easily enough without fear of doing damage. Let me know if you want the info.
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I'm here because my nappy fell off again and now they have nowhere to put it,
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oh I too am right behind Hannah in a most inappropriate way
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STEVE, YOU CHEEKY MONKEY!!
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Sorry to hear about the hernia, Ed
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.
How long have you had your ileostomy? The thought of getting a hernia freaks me out, and I understand they often happen after having an ileo for a few years. I would have thought that there was more chance right at the beginning, when everything was 'new' and not healed.
Hope you can manage it.
Do you know what caused it?
All the best.
P.S. to Gus ... I'd like to hear about how you can reduce your own hernia. Just knowing what is possible might help my 'freak-out' worry.