Today I've been experiencing one of my off days. I've been thinking a lot about my two emergency surgeries and feeling sad about it happening. I've been asking "why" all day. I never got a reason why my lower bowel just died. I keep thinking if I just knew the reason. This pattern of thinking has caused my depression to raise its ugly head. It hasn't caused a great deal of issues with me until just lately. I am glad that I will be seeing my VA therapist later on in the week. She can help me sort it out and help me understand these feelings that I am having right now. Most of all, she validates me as a person, and that helps to keep me going.
freedancer
Oct 04, 2018 12:34 am
Bill
Oct 04, 2018 5:39 am
Hello freedancer. I'm pleased you are getting help for this condition as it is sometimes very hard to manage it alone. I have often counselled against using the word 'why' because it has a tendency to take people towards emotional disturbance rather than a positive solution. Questions based on 'what' tend to be much more functional and productive in this regard.
Best wishes
Bill
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Posted by: Bagface
Angelica- As usual, you've written another interesting post. February 5th, 2019, was my reversal surgery after having an ileo for 6 months. I'm one of those fortunate success stories. Of course, things are different now, and I still have to be careful about what and how much I eat, as I don't have a colon. At first, I was afraid to leave the house. My biggest fear was having to use a public bathroom and have the toilet not flush! Even now, when I know that I'll be in someone else's home, I won't eat anything beforehand. I read other people's stories and sometimes feel guilty for having had it so easy, not to mention that I have a significant other who is 100 percent supportive. I've gotten so much out of this website and truly feel for those of you who have it so much worse than I. But I feel it necessary to let folks hear about the success stories.
Schatzi
Oct 04, 2018 4:31 pm
Hi freedancer,
Thinking of you on your off day and completely understand. I definitely have them too. So glad that you have a therapist to sort this through. I think the question of "why" is something we go through in an attempt to try to make some kind of sense and meaning of the experiences as a way to integrate them into our experience of ourselves and life moving forward. It's a part of the process of loss and grief as well as the inherent trauma associated with such an extreme surgery. I send you wishes for a better day and strength.
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Dalmom
Oct 04, 2018 9:16 pm
Hi freedancer,
I'm glad you reached out to the group, and I'm glad you're going to see a counselor. I think many of us have asked why but never got an answer. I've been seeing a counselor on and off for 7 years with ongoing health issues. Is there an ostomy support group in your area? Ask your ostomy nurse or wound professionals. I've found our group to be inspiring; you get good tips, and most of all, you don't feel alone. Take care and be kind to yourself while you grieve.
Dalmom
freedancer
Oct 10, 2018 1:36 am
Thanks, everyone! I got through it and feel much better. Just getting ready and in the right frame of mind for my upcoming disc replacement surgery on the 25th. Pray for me not to lose my hair again. I rather like it right now as it came back in curly!😄
How to Get Back to Activity after Ostomy Surgery with Kimberly | Hollister
