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I Don't Want To Live Like This

Posted by Past Member

I hate my urostomy. When I found out the doctor removed my bladder for a little 0.6 superficial nodule without a root and the rest of my bladder was totally clear, I realized he lied to me. How could a cancer doctor do this. I want him investigated. I can't accept that he lied to me and said that I did not have much time to live, if it wasn't taken out. He told me that my bladder was full of cancer. I later requested my surgical reports and I was shocked....there was just a little speck with NO root and NOT in the muscle. Knowing the results of my pathology report changed me forever and it sickens me more and more everyday. I need help to sue that criminal.....Please, is there is anyone out here that can help me with this? He knows that I now know what he did.... I am a strong willed woman and why did he make me believe that I was going to die when I was not near death?....I am too upset right now and have to stop writing.................He killed me and now I want to kill myself because I just can't go on living anymore with knowing what he did to me.......T

Nov 04, 2019
lovely : Hello tessa, So sorry you have been through so much. How long ago did this happen? I can see why you are so upset. Even though you shouldn't have to go through another surgery maybe you can get it reversed. Have you seen another Dr? Keep us informrd. Best of luck.
Nov 04, 2019
lovely : I also need to say if it can't be reversed it will take time to get used to. But over time you will learn how to handle it. This site has a lot of people with good information about any question you may have. So feel free to ask any questions. Pray things will get better for you.
Nov 05, 2019
Bill : Hello Tessa.
Sorry to hear about your predicament.
I see on your profile that your urostomy was performed in 2016 and you were telling us about all the positive things you enjoy in life.
I therefore presume that your present post has been triggered by the knowledge that your surgeon deceived you into thinking the situation was much worse then it really was and a urostomy was the only way forward. This is a terrible and unacceptable set of circumstances and I can well understand your desire to sue the surgeon concerned. However, the anger and resentment you feel may not be so much about the urostomy as the surgeon and his behavior. You should be clear about what it is that upsets you and deal with it in whatever ways might bring it to a satisfactory conclusion. The problems with taking things through the courts is that it can often be a long, frustrating and expensive journey which can stir up all sorts of emotions that you may or may not have experienced before. Certainly, I would advise not to contemplate taking your own life before you have confronted the surgeon and resolved the issue of his deceit. After that, I would encourage you to re-read your profile and remind yourself of all those things you enjoy in life. My question would be: 'Why waste what life you have left in a state of negativity when all those positive things are still out there and available for you to participate in?
Unlike a lot of people, I am not opposed to suicide, but I do believe we should make ourselves a bucket-list of things we wish to do before we die. The things on the list should preferably be enjoyable to us and hopefully they will distract our thoughts away from all the negativity, if only for the short periods that we are engaged in that activity. If suing the surgeon is on your bucket-list, then I would suggest that you try to develop an attitude whereby you are determined to 'enjoy' the activity, rather than let it frustrate you even more.
Just a thought!
Best wishes
Nov 05, 2019
warrior : warrior here. agree with bill.. the best thing you can do is seek refuge in suing this doctor. u wont need any money to see a lawyer because the first consult is free. u can try several, i am sure there is a site to find the best medical attorney in your country. you are a young woman and have determination. put it in gear and get the wheels spinning on this law suit because it will consume a good part of your life. u already have the medical records. there is nothing stopping you. I don't have a pee bag. i have poop bag. can't sue anyone damit!!. but i am constantly hearing of botched surgeries and it scares me no one pursues lawsuit. Also, a lawyer will discuss payment as they don't normally take anything until they win. just don't find a bad lawyer. word of mouth. agencies. i am sure your primary doctor will know a few lawyers as well. don't delay. this may last about several years and u need to think if u want to give up that much more of your life to resolve this issue. put the world wide web at your service. everything is at finger tips. just make sure u got all the records of your hospital stay now..good luck.
Nov 05, 2019
warrior : warrior here. cant edit my post. just wanted to correct that i meant i agreed with Bill.. but !!! BUT.. I wanted to say.... the best thing.. is suing the doctor.
Nov 07, 2019
looking forward : yes he should not be able to do this to anyone else
Nov 10, 2019
Donleo : It was traumatic for me also with cancer diagnosis. It is isn't easy to adjust but your alive and still can enjoy to manage situation. If can't be reversed there are good products out there to make it more manageable. I use flushable bags for mine as there is less stinky ostomy. Any questions feel free there is lots of help here for you to get through this.

Oct 26, 2020
Mojowin : Are you ok?
Jun 03, 2021
Mojowin : Have you pursued a malpractice lawsuit or any legal path? I was curious to see if anything you may need help with. Hope you are doing well. Michael

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