The topic at hand is about navigating the world of dating when you have a colostomy. It can be a journey filled with mixed reactions, as one man, a cancer survivor with a permanent colostomy, discovered. While most women he met were unfazed by his disclosure, he did encounter a 70-year-old psychotherapist who found it to be a problem and ended their contact. He appreciated that this issue came up early, saving him time and effort. Here are some insights and advice for those in similar situations:
1. People with ostomies are just as "normal" as those without. In fact, many are more understanding of the needs that come with having an ostomy.
2. Everyone has their own comfort levels and preferences. If someone is uncomfortable, it doesn't make them wrong. Focus on what you can control, like your reaction and maintaining your self-confidence.
3. Think of disclosing your ostomy as a helpful filter. If someone decides to step away early on, it simply means they aren't the right match for you.
4. Some people who now have ostomies admit they might have reacted similarly to the psychotherapist before they became ostomates themselves. Often, hesitation comes from unfamiliarity.
5. Rejection can hurt, but it's something you can get through. The next person you meet might have a completely different reaction.
6. Open communication is key. Sometimes a follow-up conversation can clear up any misunderstandings or confirm whether you're compatible.
7. Confidence in public settings, like the beach, is achievable. For example, one person swims shirtless and uses Micropore Surgical waterproof tape to secure their pouch.
8. Keeping a sense of humor and pride in having overcome a serious illness can help ease awkward moments and boost your self-esteem.
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