Caring for an elderly parent with dementia who also has an ileostomy can be quite challenging. This situation involves a 91-year-old man who has been living in an assisted living facility after complications from back surgery and an emergency colectomy. He has successfully managed his ileostomy for 11 years. However, with the onset of dementia, he has started forgetting to reorder supplies and has experienced several accidents. The facility he resides in is unable to assist with his ostomy care, considering it a task for skilled nursing, and is suggesting a transfer. His 90-year-old wife, who is also dealing with her own challenges after a car accident, is unable to help. Their daughter, a registered nurse, is planning to move him into her home, which is 8 hours away, where her spouse, a paramedic, can also assist. She believes that with the right supplies, her father can still be involved in his care and is seeking advice from others who have experience with managing ileostomy care in dementia patients.

Here are some helpful insights and advice for managing this situation:

1. Dementia is likely to progress, so be prepared for increasing hands-on care. Cultivate "endless patience" and approach the situation with Friendliness, Firmness, Fairness, and Full commitment.

2. Managing a stoma can be easier than dealing with fecal incontinence. Ensure reliable access to the correct pouches, skin barriers, and accessories, as these will be critical.

3. Arrange a steady supply chain early to prevent any lapses in supplies. Keep a reserve stock on hand to avoid running out.

4. Build a support network:
- Engage understanding friends, family, or paid respite helpers to give you breaks.
- Join dementia-care groups in addition to ostomy forums for practical coping tips.

5. Maintain consistent routines and a calm, respectful tone to maximize cooperation from the patient. Use clear, simple cues and repeat them as needed.

6. Apply the caregiver "AIMS" approach: be there, be consistent, be honest, listen empathetically, empower, and respect individuality to reduce agitation and improve daily care.

7. For technical ostomy help and product questions, consider these resources:
- United Ostomy Associations of America (uoaa.org)
- The Phoenix ostomy magazine
- Local Wound, Ostomy, Continence (WOC) nurses, which can be located through hospitals and the WOCN Society.