The topic is about how to approach the subject of having an ostomy when you're dating. It's a personal decision on when and how to share this part of your life with someone new. Here are some insights and advice from others who have navigated this situation:
1. Timing Strategies:
- Some people choose to disclose their ostomy right away, either in their dating profile, during initial messages, or on the first date. This helps to quickly identify those who are genuinely accepting.
- Others prefer to wait until the second or third date, or even a few months into dating, to allow the person to get to know them beyond the ostomy. This approach is best if you feel comfortable waiting.
2. Success Stories:
- There are many examples of successful long-term relationships where the ostomy was disclosed early on. These include marriages lasting over 50 years, relationships spanning decades, and new relationships that are thriving.
- Some have found success by being upfront in online dating profiles, which has led to meaningful connections.
3. How to Disclose:
- Be straightforward and calm when sharing: "I had rectal cancer, now I'm cancer-free, and I wear a colostomy bag—feel free to ask me anything."
- Emphasize that the ostomy saved your life and doesn't limit your ability to be intimate or active.
- Use comparisons, like saying it's similar to having braces, to help normalize it.
- Let your partner know it's okay to be honest if they feel uncomfortable: "If this grosses you out, just let me know now."
4. Confidence and Attitude:
- Your confidence and positive attitude about yourself and your ostomy can make a big difference in how others perceive it.
5. Meeting Partners:
- Many have met partners through online dating platforms like Silver Singles, Match.com, and eHarmony, often taking advantage of promotions.
- Focus on chemistry and shared interests once the initial disclosure is out of the way.
6. Screening Tool:
- Mentioning an ileostomy or colostomy upfront can help identify supportive people and save time.
7. Resource:
- A helpful resource to share with potential partners is the YouTube video "Elijah Explains His New Ostomy."
8. General Relationship Tips:
- Remember to listen to each other, be kind, and give each other space. These are important for any relationship, whether or not an ostomy is involved.
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