This topic is about finding companionship and staying positive after becoming an ostomate. A 60-year-old widower, who recently had a permanent stoma due to cancer surgery, is navigating life with this new change. While he generally keeps a positive outlook, he sometimes feels down and misses being part of a couple. He worries about how his body image might affect future relationships and wonders if he might find a partner who is also an ostomate or perhaps a stoma nurse. He is seeking reassurance that life and relationships can still be hopeful.

Here are some pieces of advice and insights shared by others:

1. If feelings of depression become overwhelming, consider seeking professional help. Short-term counseling or therapy can be beneficial for dealing with grief and body-image concerns.

2. Many relationship barriers are self-imposed. Often, partners are accepting of an ostomy once the ostomate is comfortable with it themselves.

3. Personal presentation is important. Focus on being clean, well-groomed, and maintaining fresh breath, neat clothes, tidy nails, and a stable income when dating.

4. Be thoughtful about when to disclose your ostomy. Wait until intimacy is likely, then be honest and selective in sharing details.

5. Consider trying online dating sites, but take things slowly. Keep initial communication within the site, move to phone calls only when ready, and never send money or personal data.

6. Rebuild confidence by socializing:
- Engage in hobbies, join local clubs, or participate in community workshops like "man sheds/men’s sheds," which are often open to women too.
- Join singles groups, attend dances, concerts, karaoke nights, or travel with friends.
- Attend ostomy support organizations to meet people who understand your experience; friendships or romance can develop there.

7. If faith or spirituality is meaningful to you, draw on it for support. Many find comfort and strength in their religious beliefs.

8. Stay busy with purposeful activities such as housework, learning new skills, or volunteering to maintain focus and optimism while opportunities develop.

9. Understand that adjustment takes time. Everyone has down days, so be patient with yourself—remember, "Rome wasn’t built in a day.