This topic is about someone who is finding it difficult to talk openly about their life with an ostomy and is experiencing a loss of confidence. They used to be athletic and confident but now feel burdened by guilt, fear, and depression. They are seeking advice on how to discuss their condition, regain self-confidence, and accept their new reality.

Here are some helpful insights and advice:

1. Understand that what you're feeling is a normal part of the recovery and adjustment process. Acceptance takes time.

2. Start by loving and accepting yourself as you are. Positive self-talk and determination can gradually help rebuild your confidence.

3. Sharing your experiences, whether on forums, in a journal, or with loved ones, can help relieve anxiety. Do this at your own pace.

4. Some people find it helpful to give their stoma a name, making it less intimidating and easier to talk about, especially when accidents happen.

5. Remember the reason for your ostomy: it ended pain, illness, or a life-threatening condition. Focus on gratitude for being alive.

6. Try to resume as many activities as you enjoyed before surgery, like sports, exercise, work, travel, and sex. The pouch usually doesn't prevent these, and physical activity can boost your mood.

7. Keep track of foods that cause issues like leaks or excessive gas, such as batter, peas, sweet corn, mushrooms, eggs, nuts, dried fruit, and wine gums. Plan your meals or treat days accordingly.

8. Communicate openly with your partner. Most partners see you as the same person, just with some "extras." If talking face-to-face is difficult, consider writing a letter.

9. Engage with the ostomy community. Reading, giving advice, and helping newcomers can strengthen your sense of purpose and make the experience feel more normal.

10. When you're ready, showing your pouch openly can help demystify it for others. Many people respond with curiosity or admiration rather than disgust.

11. Returning to work or your usual responsibilities can boost your confidence by proving you are still capable.

12. Cultivate a daily habit of positivity and gratitude. Wake up thankful, acknowledge your progress, and remind yourself that life is not a practice run.