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Sep 22, 2025

Coming to Terms with a Permanent Colostomy

This topic is about coming to terms with having a permanent colostomy after surviving cancer. The person sharing their story has been living with a stoma for nearly three years. Initially, it was a temporary ileostomy during cancer treatment, but it later became a permanent colostomy. While they are grateful for surviving colon cancer, they are also grieving the loss of their previous life, often feeling emotional and perceiving the need for a bag as a sign of "losing the battle." They are seeking advice on how to transition from grief to acceptance.

Here are some helpful insights and advice:

1. Celebrate being alive as a victory in itself. Focus on the precious time you have with your family and the opportunity to create new memories.

2. Understand that acceptance is a journey. Give yourself the time and patience needed to adjust.

3. Consider seeking professional help, such as counseling or therapy, to address body-image issues, feelings similar to PTSD, depression, or challenges with self-esteem.

4. Use personal coping tools like journaling, poetry, or other creative outlets to transform negative thoughts and gain a new perspective.

5. Try to focus on the present rather than dwelling on the past. Concentrate on what you can do now and the possibilities ahead.

6. Engage in positive distractions, such as shopping for your upcoming grandchild, to integrate the stoma into your everyday life rather than associating it with loss.

7. Remember that many others with ostomies, including multiple cancer survivors, have struggled initially but eventually found acceptance. Leaning on peer support sites can be very helpful.

8. Spiritual or faith-based perspectives, such as trusting in a higher plan or praying, can offer comfort and a sense of purpose, especially when considering how you might help others facing similar challenges in the future.

9. Reframe the stoma as a badge of honor or a victory medal. It is a tangible symbol of your courage, survival, and the ongoing possibilities in your life.
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