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41,052 members
Oct 29, 2011

When to disclose my condition while dating?

Topic Explanation:
The forum topic is about a person seeking advice on when and how to disclose their medical condition (ostomy) while dating. The person is three years post-op and is struggling with when to bring up the subject of their condition when dating, as it has affected their confidence and led to unsuccessful dates after disclosing their condition.

Advice and Insights:
- There is no specific "right time" to disclose a personal condition while dating; it depends on the individuals and the circumstances of the relationship.
- It's important to approach the topic when the relationship becomes more intimate and physical, rather than defining oneself by the condition early on.
- Some suggest waiting until the relationship is strong enough for the condition not to matter, and to share personal aspects reciprocally as the relationship progresses.
- Confidence is key when disclosing the condition; the more the individual feels that the ostomy doesn't matter to them, the more likely it won't matter to their partner.
- It's important to find someone who can see past the medical condition and appreciate the person inside.
- Online dating can be challenging, and it's advised to be cautious of insincere individuals who may not have genuine intentions.
- Rejection based on the condition is seen as a reflection of the other person's character and values, rather than a reflection of the individual with the ostomy.
- Some individuals found acceptance and understanding from partners with medical backgrounds.
- Sharing personal experiences and stories of successful relationships with an ostomy can provide hope and encouragement to others facing similar challenges.
- It's important to remain confident and comfortable in one's own skin, and to not let rejection affect self-worth.
- Some individuals found success in disclosing their condition early on and were met with understanding and acceptance from their partners.
- It's essential to focus on the overall personality and connection rather than just the medical condition when building a relationship.
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