Finding love and starting new relationships after ostomy surgery can be a bit daunting, especially if you're feeling self-conscious about how potential partners might react. This is a common concern for many who have undergone the surgery, like a long-time Crohn’s patient from Ontario who is now navigating the dating world with an ostomy. She used to date easily but now worries about how and when to share this part of her life with someone new. Here are some helpful insights and advice from others who have been in similar situations:

1. Reading about others' experiences can be reassuring. There are discussions, like the thread "Why so shy?" under "Dating," that address similar concerns.

2. Remember that having an ostomy doesn't limit your ability to have a fulfilling romantic life. Many people have long marriages, children, and active dating lives after their surgery.

3. Decide when to disclose your ostomy based on your comfort level, but it's generally a good idea to do so before the relationship becomes serious. Some choose to share this information within the first few dates or even during initial phone conversations. If someone reacts negatively, it's better to know early and move on.

4. Online dating can help ease the fear of face-to-face disclosure. Some people mention their ostomy status in their profiles, which means anyone who contacts them is already accepting of it, boosting their confidence.

5. For women, there are practical tips for intimacy, such as wearing a long top or panties and shifting them aside during sex to keep the pouch discreet. Night-time leaks are rare, and partners often sleep through minor adjustments.

6. Your mindset is more important than the appliance. Work on building self-confidence, avoid negative self-talk, and remember that "there's someone for everyone." Humor can also help; treat the ostomy as just one part of who you are.

7. Build a strong foundation for confidence by understanding your stoma care thoroughly, using an appliance you trust, and maintaining a healthy diet to minimize issues. Pursue hobbies, goals, and friendships to bring a full life to any relationship.

8. If a partner can't handle the ostomy, they might not be the right person for you. The right person will see your value first and foremost.