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41,403 members
Nov 20, 2015

Divorce, Medical Struggles, and Feeling Worthless

This topic is about dealing with the emotional aftermath of a divorce, especially when it feels tied to having an ostomy and other health challenges. The person sharing their story feels deeply hurt and worthless after their spouse left during a critical time in their life. Here are some pieces of advice and insights that might help:

1. Time is a great healer. Although it might not feel like it now, the pain will lessen, and a brighter future is possible.

2. Remember, the breakup is more about her inability to cope than your worth. The ostomy was just an excuse, not the real reason.

3. Consider this an opportunity to find someone who appreciates the new, more experienced you.

4. Holding onto anger only drains your energy and gives your ex-spouse power. Letting go of bitterness can help you heal faster.

5. Focus on building happiness from within and learning to live independently, rather than relying on others for your sense of worth.

6. Keep a positive outlook. Life with an ostomy can still be fulfilling and enjoyable, as many have experienced for years.

7. Think of the ostomy as a "jerk-detector" that helps you identify people who lack character and commitment.

8. Accept that some people may judge based on disability, but prioritize those who see you for who you truly are.

9. Embrace your newfound freedom. Engage in activities your ex-spouse discouraged, have fun, and pursue interests you've always wanted to explore.

10. Re-enter the dating world with an open mind. Try speed-dating or other social activities. Even if things don't go perfectly, they can make for funny stories later.

11. Others have shared similar experiences of being abandoned during illness, yet they found that life, finances, and happiness can bounce back. Often, karma has a way of balancing things out.

12. Show outward positivity, even if you have to fake it at first. Don't let her actions define who you are.

13. Serious illness often reveals who truly cares. You deserve genuine support and love, and you will find it.
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