The topic at hand is about managing stoma activity during sexual intimacy, specifically whether a stoma will stay quiet or release output during such moments. This is a common concern for those with a colostomy, as the unpredictability of stoma output can be a source of anxiety. Here are some helpful insights and advice shared by others who have navigated this situation:
1. Output and Timing
- Stomas can release output at any time, including during sex, and this is especially true for those with an ileostomy.
- The amount and timing of output are personal and often related to what and when you eat. To minimize output, consider fasting, eating lightly, or avoiding foods that cause gas for several hours or even the whole day before planned intimacy. Morning sex before eating can also be effective.
- Pay attention to your own digestion patterns to identify times when your stoma is less active. Some people find their stoma is quiet for a few hours after exercise or at specific times after eating.
2. Mechanical and Product Tips
- Empty your pouch right before engaging in intimacy.
- Use a maternity-style belly band, small "mini" or "cap" pouches, or other discreet bags to secure the pouch.
- Some people fast on workdays and use a high-output two-piece system for added security, while others switch to a smaller pouch for a few hours during sex.
- Padded cloth covers, sashes, or large scarves can be used to hide the appliance in a way that feels intentional and seductive.
3. Irrigation and Continence Options (for colostomy)
- Bowel irrigation is highly recommended by some, as it can provide up to 24 hours of little-to-no output, reducing the need for fasting or food restrictions.
- A continent ileostomy, which involves an internal reservoir, is another option that eliminates the need for an external pouch.
4. Psychological and Relationship Aspects
- Confidence, humor, and open communication can help both partners feel more at ease. Remember, unexpected noises can happen in any passionate moment.
- If a partner is uncomfortable with the ostomy, it might be worth considering if they are the right partner for you. Supportive partners often "don't even notice" the ostomy once the wearer is comfortable.
- For spontaneous encounters, you can excuse yourself briefly to empty or change the pouch, then return and focus on enjoying the moment.
5. Reality Check
- Despite all preparations, a stoma might still make noises, pass gas, or release a small amount of stool at an inconvenient time. Acceptance and flexibility are important in these situations.
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