This topic revolves around the feelings of being labeled as "undateable" due to having an ostomy, as portrayed in a TV show. The show, "Undateables," features individuals with disabilities seeking love, and one episode included a woman with an ileostomy who felt her pouch made dating impossible. The presenter suggested that most men would not be interested in her because of this "disfigurement." This perspective upset the topic originator, who has lived with an ileostomy since age 18 and feels just as "datable" as anyone else. They are curious if other ostomates feel the same or struggle with being seen as "undateable."

Here are some helpful insights and advice shared by others:

1. There are plenty of potential partners out there. If someone is negative or shallow, it's best to move on and keep looking.

2. Confidence and self-advocacy are important:
- Most people won't notice an ostomy unless you choose to share it.
- Educating friends, coworkers, and dates can dispel myths that ostomates are "dirty" or "smelly." Many people are healthier after surgery than before.
- A relaxed, matter-of-fact attitude often encourages others to react similarly.

3. Timing the disclosure:
- Some wait until a relationship becomes romantic, allowing the other person to know them first.
- Others mention it earlier if illness, treatments, or visible equipment make it unavoidable.
- Whatever timing you choose, try not to obsess over the ostomy—present it as just one part of who you are.

4. Personal success stories:
- Many have had long marriages, active sex lives, or positive experiences on dating sites while having an ileostomy or urostomy.
- One person learned from their father, who had an ileostomy, that it never limits relationships or activities.
- Another regained confidence by changing jobs and social circles, realizing partners are possible at any stage.

5. Coping with stigma in media:
- The show is seen as exploitative, aimed at audiences seeking to feel superior, and does not define ostomates.
- Writing letters of complaint to broadcasters and advertisers can be cathartic; emphasize that labeling anyone as "undateable" is a form of bullying.

6. Perspective: Surviving major surgery often leaves ostomates feeling stronger, more appreciative of life, and determined not to let a stoma dictate their happiness or dating prospects.