The Stoma censors
In the spirit of main stream media and social web sites... the following terms will be actively sanitized to protect delicate ears and persona.
An ostomy "bag" will now be known as an
"Alternative turd receptacle."
Wait.... my producer has informed me folks might be "triggered" by the word "Turd."
We shall revise the offending sentence accordingly.
An ostomy "bag" will now be known as an
"Alternative poopie receptacle."
Wait.... my producer has informed me folks might be confused by the word "poopie."
We shall revise the offending sentence promptly.
An ostomy "bag" will now be known as an
"Alternative craps vessel."
My dumb ass producer has warned me the public will be mislead by "craps."
Especially Vegas gamblers who play... "craps."
An ostomy "bag" will now be known as an
"Alternative pancaking vessel."
My producer, who is getting on my nerves, doesn't like this food style terminology. So "pancaking" is out. He must like chocolate chip pancakes.
An ostomy "bag" will now be referred to as an "anal discharge diverter."
My snowflake producers face has turned beet red, eyes glaring at me. OK boss, I'll sanitize it again.
An ostomy "bag" will now be simply called: A "plastic holding device for occasionally produced, human, semi-solid waste."
My producer... is pounding the control room window. I hear yelling. Something about the word "produced" must be changed. Well... he has produced this show.
Thank you for joining us. Tune in next time as we work to alter this sentence:
"Had so much gas, my plastic holding device blew off, covering my foot guards (shoes) with human semi-solid waste.
