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I'm devastated

Posted by leah, on Tue Sep 11, 2012 2:49 pm
i used my husbands computer last monday because mine broke down and
i saw pictures of him and a pretty young lady naked,
i confronted him about it and he said that since iv had my illiostomy iv become unbearable to live with,
and he wants a divorce.i cant stop crying ,he walked out on tuesday and i havnt seem him since,iv called him and left messages ,but nothing,
we have been married for 11 years,i had my op 2 yeasr ago.
im so hurt and confused,
thank you for listening,
Reply by notexpectingthis, on Tue Sep 11, 2012 3:35 pm
Honey if he left now he was looking for a reason b4 the stoma - GOOD RIDDANCE!!!!!!!!
Chin up! Prayers!

Reply by ambies, on Tue Sep 11, 2012 3:42 pm
Hi Leah dont blame youself for stoma  your alive and kicking   theres plenty of nice men who are understanding  about these things we have ,its hard for you right now  but hes best gone out your life   since he doesnt love you ,if he did he would still be there for you and by your side  . Stay  strong  tc ambies   x
Reply by Yukon steve, on Tue Sep 11, 2012 4:07 pm
I'm one of those fellows but I live to far away.
Reply by Primeboy, on Tue Sep 11, 2012 5:36 pm
Inspite of your present pain, you will soon be grateful for this riddance of truly bad rubbish in your life. Be grateful you won't be wasting any more good years on him.   PB
Reply by cherylem, on Tue Sep 11, 2012 6:23 pm
Im so sorry , I will keep you in my prayers. Remeber you are made perfect in gods eyes, and maybe god wants something better for you. I know your in  pain and hurt but you will get thru all this. God bless you
Reply by nwcurtis, on Tue Sep 11, 2012 6:41 pm
You might be happier without him.  Don't worry, his day is coming.
Past Member
Reply by Past Member, on Wed Sep 12, 2012 8:20 am
Despite the devastation, i hope things are otherwise well, mostly ostomy-wise, but all things...
Reply by leah, on Wed Sep 12, 2012 1:31 pm
aw thank you everyone for your lovely comments,
hes coming back tonight to collect most of his stuff,
i just dont understand,
i supported him for the whole ten years ,i i gave up work to nurse him through
his throat cancer,
i then started my own little buisness to support us both,
(that i still have ,thank god,)

i feel iv been used and its not a nice feeling,
apart from this im fine thank you for asking,i do appreciate it,

but im sorry i cant figuer out to reply to you,
what a lovely person you are to take the time to send me a very encouraging message
thank you very very much,
Reply by three, on Wed Sep 12, 2012 3:24 pm
leah wrote:
. . . he's coming back tonight to collect most of his stuff, I just dont understand,
. . . I gave up work to nurse him through his throat cancer . . . I feel I've been used and its not a nice feeling

Hi leah ~ your situation and feelings remind me of a story I heard a long time ago:

Once upon a time a traveller came across a shallow river he had to cross.  Just when he was about to wet his feet, he saw a scorpion trying to get out of the river.  It was near the bank but unable to gain hold of the ground.  He picked up the scorpion in his right palm with the intention to place it on the dry surface, but the scorpion stung him and rushed off his palm in a frenzy, landing in the water again. The traveller yelped in pain, but his mind was calm.

Knowing the scorpion could drown, the man used his left hand to lift the scorpion out of water; however, it panicked and stung again.  Once again, it jumped off his hand and landed in the water.  The man now had two hands singed with excruciating pain.

He tried again — this time, he cupped his hands together and lifted the scorpion in one swift movement.  Before it could react, he safely dropped it on the land.  The scorpion disappeared into the pebbles that lay near the bank.

At a distance, a young boy had watched this drama.  He now approached the traveller and said, “There was no need to save the scorpion — it does no good to anybody; however, if you must try to save him out of compassion, you could have tried only once.  I’m surprised that even after it ungratefully stung you, you persisted with your efforts.  Why?  How come you did not just stomp on it after it stung you?”

The traveller replied “The scorpion's nature is to sting, to panic, to harm.  It is known for not exhibiting any compassion, but I strive to love unconditionally.  Because the scorpion will not change its basic nature, should I allow it to change me, to throw me off my principles?  When I am true to my nature, my experience of inner peace is always my guaranteed reward."
Reply by notexpectingthis, on Wed Sep 12, 2012 4:26 pm
I loved that story three!
Reply by budd002, on Mon Sep 17, 2012 7:18 am
This reminds me allot of my life. Only difference is that I felt I was the damaged one. I pushed my husband away. That was 10 years ago. Although he was the one trying to convince me to stay, in my own mind I was no longer any good and he deserved a better woman, a complete woman.

Over the last 10 years he has still remained a good friend. of course that took a long time to come. I honestly couldn't have been happier since he and I split up. I am grateful for his friendship now.

Over the yeas we were together he was verbally abusive toward me and when we would fight he said some very hurtful things to me that have left deeper scars than the operations.

Let him go! Remember what goes around comes around. There IS someone out there for you that will love you and accept your ostomy.

it really would be a shame if a bottle of bleach were to spill all over his clothes though hahahaha. Oops did I type that out loud??

Stay strong and keep living your life. He's NOT WORTH your tears and undeserving of them! The hurt goes away.
Reply by rond76, on Mon Sep 17, 2012 8:31 am
i am a man and he didnt just start cheating hun he used you as a excuse so dont worry your better off
Reply by rond76, on Mon Sep 17, 2012 8:34 am
if you wanna chat email me **** am in georgia
Reply by tif-tif, on Mon Sep 17, 2012 9:17 am
Im so sorry to hear about your husband. Keep ypour head up! Its his loss! You have a lot to be thankful for. Prayers go out to you.
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