Z I would not say WOW!! I would say probably Viagra for self-use!!
Past Member
Zywie
Steveek1 - lolololololol; seems a bit of a waste though; but to each his own I guess. (Not making light of Jackiei's plight, but that was funny.) Thanks for the laugh.
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lorraine-cooper1960
I think I would give the man a medal and put him on the streets to bring in an income!
No offense meant but good on him!
LOL
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Hollister
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Bill
Hello jackiei.
Thank you for posting your problem on here as it must be difficult for you after such along marriage to share such things with 'outsiders'. There have been some great replies so I'm not going to repeat what others have said so competently. Except perhaps to point out that one person mentioned ----'dementia'. It got me thinking that nearly all the 'symptoms' you describe could be something as 'simple' as that. It might pay you to look it up and familiarise yourself with the signs and symptoms so that you can make a judgement for yourself. You say he is 68 years old. The chances are he is going through a few changes himself and probably doesn't know how to handle them. Many people don't want to admit tthat they have this sort of problem and bottle it up inside. However, we all know that these things have a way of manifesting themselves in different forms especially if the person doesn't acknowledge and deal with it for what it is. You are in an ideal position to notice small (and big) changes in your husband's behaviour and attitudes because you have known what his personality has been like over many years. It may be that you are feeling vulnerable to him rejecting you because of your condition but what about if he is rejecting you because of his own condition? I have seen it many times where a person feels that they don't want to be a burden to their partner so they make it easier for that partner to reject them by acting out of character and pushing them away physically and psychologically.
On the other hand he might be just a right b------ and needs dumping. But for your own peace of mind it's probably worth exploring other possible explanations first. Counselling is a great idea but if 'he' has a problem he might not want to go down that route. On a more personal note: I have never been one to recognise anniverseries of any sort and I certainly don't buy presents for other people -including my wife. I believe that people buy presents that 'they' like thinking that the other person will therefore like them too. Surely it's more logical to suggest that the person goes and buys a present for themselves that they will actually like. At 68 perhaps he is just beginning to reflect on these sorts of things and is giving up on what is 'expected' of him in favour of doing what he wants to do. Because I have been this way all my life - my wife doesn't see many changes in me now I'm old and senile. We've been married about 47 years ( I can't remember exactly) and thankfully things seem to be getting better rather than worse in terms of our relationship in spite of the fact that physically we are probably not much different to yourselves. Fortunately we have found some 'neutral' activities that we are both interested in like nature-watching and gardening so the partnership has moved to a slightly different dimension than that of emotion, passion and lust. Dementia is talked about openly and somewhat humourously so we both know and accept that we are moving inevitably in that direction - but it is unlikely to make a negative impact upon the way we are with each other. If anything it is helping us to be more supportive rather than less.
I hope this has given you a slightly different perspective to ponder on
Best wishes
Bill
Living with Your Ostomy | Hollister
iMacG5
Hey Jackie, just wanted to tell you I\'m still thinking about you and your situation and hope things have gotten better for you.
Sincerely,
Mike
Past Member
No, I've never been rejected because I'm too confident, to be honest... To me, it's just a bag that sits on your stomach and that's it. Just empty it and flatten it, and that's it. What stops you from doing anything that a normal person can? Nothing, just your mentality :) I'm 26 and not even married, and I still go out on dates. I can't anymore as I have a girlfriend now, but I've had around 3 girlfriends since my operation and not one has been bothered. I might have an ugly body, but some "normal" folks, if you like to call them that, have an ugly personality. So basically, no one is perfect. There is nothing to say you wouldn't get rejected just by having a birthmark on your face. Life is full of rejections, just take it on the chin like me and then move onto the next. Not everyone is a moron, haha!