Reframing Ostomy Language: Introducing the Virtual Rectum

There's sometimes much embarrassment associated with our colo/ileostomies and I think changing how we talk about them might alleviate that. We make references to our "crap bags" or worse and we might be reminded, by some disrespectful persons, that we dump in a sack. Sounds ew! If really pressed to explain my situation I'm going to tell the interrogator that I have a virtual rectum. Sounds cool? No mention of bags, plastic, pouches or anything other than a very technologically designed device that allows me to move my bowels while having conversation with the interrogator who's totally oblivious. Simultaneously, and after our conversation, the interrogator is still full of crap and I'm home free.

Just something to think about.

Imac-

I like the girly angle. I have lots of girlfriends, and as they accompany me through the cancer thing, and want to be supportive (which they are, they rotate through overnight trips for my out-of-state clinical trail), they're cool.

Girlfriends dealing with cancer friends are cool with ostomies. First thing is that I give them a little sneak preview. You can tell people about ostomies, but that really just piques their curiosity.SHOW them. All of my girlfriends saw my stoma and bag before we ever set off onto a road trip. And they were also aware of smell issues. So we arrive at the bed-and-breakfast, I'm savvy enough to hit the lowest button on the elevator as needed. Maybe a gym, maybe unused extra conference rooms. But invariably a never-used bathroom. MINE!Saves the friend from odor-on-arrival issues. But she IS prepared for sorry-we-share-a-bathroom-it-may-get-toxic.My friends love me. They can deal with whatever wierd cancer stuff I throw at them.

With friends like that, ostomies are no big deal.

Sounds good, Mike... because there are a lot of people who are ignorant about ostomates' plumbing. Also, NDY had a point. But not everyone has a lot of girlfriends. So I guess it really depends on that person's situation and life.

Best wishes.... Angel

Hey NDY, thanks for your thoughts. I was going to offer something like "Wow, you're so fortunate to have friends like that." Then I realized it's YOU. How fortunate your friends are to have you.

Sincerely,

Mike

Hey Angel, thanks for your offering. I often wonder if I should ignore ignorance or should I try to educate those folks. I guess we need to be selective in our choices, especially when you get to be my age. You're right; we're all different and our situations are different.

Wishing you the very best,

Mike

Angel-

You've got one good girlfriend right here. I understand your plumbing issues. We're in the same situation here. Our lives may be totally different but there's one road that we're taking together and I would love to hold your hand while we're walking.

Interestingly enough, I rarely have someone ask me about my ostomy. I suppose I would have to consider who is asking and why they want to know. If it were a complete stranger that I would more than likely never see again, I think I would answer with quick and to-the-point answers without going into detail unless needed. If it were someone I see often and they are really curious, I would want to know what research they have done so far and ask why they are so interested?

So I think for me, a lot has to do with who I'm having the conversation with. It would be great if folks would be more understanding in that we didn't really have much of a choice on getting our ostomy.