On 17 December I, my daughter Kimiko, my son Robert, my brothers and their wives met at Providence Medical Center ICU in Everett Washington. My 33 year old son had been on life support since 28 November after suffering from Prader Willie syndrome and inhalation pneumonia. He had been admitted to the hospital due to breathing issues on 27 November but was going to be released the next day or the day after. On the 28th, he laid down to take a nap and was found some time later, not breathing and unresponsive. They rushed him upstairs to ICU where they intebaited him and placed him on a ventilator. His C02 levels were so high that they couldn't be measured!! They were able to bring him around somewhat but he continued to decompensate until he was 100 percent dependant on the ventilator. He had to be put into an induced coma to prevent him from pulling out the tube and also placed on a feeding tube. I was contacted by the Palative doctor on December 9th and advised there was no hope for his recovery. During the nap that he took on the 28th of November, he was not getting any 02 and his body startled awake, causing him to breathe in saliva, causing him to have a build up of C02, literally suffocating him. He was quite large due to the Prader Willie Syndrome and his lungs couldn't lift his chest enough to breathe. At 7:00 pm on the 17th, surrounded by his family, the breathing tube and feeding tube were removed. 15 minutes later, my son...my sweet boy...was gone. He was saved and loved the Lord and is now in His loving arms. I am devastated over this loss of such a young man. He had struggled from the moment he came into this world with Prader Willie Syndrome, Schizophrenia and a seizure disorder but had the latter two issues under control. He had been living for the last three years in a family foster home and was greatly loved by the home members and the members of his church. We returned home on Saturday. Although my heart is breaking, I am relieved that he is no longer suffering. Mental illness is no respector of person. He fought often with his voices and was winning his war. He was a sweet, loving, beautiful man with a heart full of love for anyone who was hurting. When he sang, he had the voice of an angel and taught himself to play the guitar. He will be very missed. Grief is so confusing. One minute I am fine and going about my business normally, the next minute I am hugging his blanket and weeping uncontrollably. I do not know how long this will last but I hope it will take flight soon. I am so tired of all the things that have been happening to me in the last three years. I am exhausted and have pretty much gotten to my limit. God was with us the whole way however. My daughter got her flight moved up one week as she was coming to Montana from Boston to spend the Christmas and New Year holidays with her in laws on the 21st. We drove from Montana to Washington and the roads were dry and clear. All the motels gave us a special rate due to my son's condition. My son's Aunt paid his cremation as a gift to us which was a blessing because I was strapped with paying for motels, gas and food. My brother and my step mother gave me 2,000 dollars to help out with our financial issues. The roads back were clear and dry. I couldn't have asked for anything more in the end. I continue to ask "why?" but God knows what he is doing and I must trust him fully. However, my Christmas will be forever changed from now on. It was by far, the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life!
I recently loss my mother on December 7, 2018. I truely understand your loss and grief. At times, I find it difficult to get up in the morning and start my day. I don't even want to do normal things like shower or go to the grocery store. I have to fly home this New years eve to bury my mother on Jan 2nd and I don't even want to pack. I cling to photos and requested from my family to bring back with me one of her blankets and one of her jackets just to hold her once more. I am sad everyday and like you out of the blue...I cry.
I find in scripture the help I need with this loss. It is my hope that you find peace, comfort and joy.
Take care and may God bless you.
No one travels through life without, at some point, experiencing the loss of someone or something dear. The loss of a loved one through death is one of life’s most intense challenges, and the pain can be overwhelming. But God doesn’t leave you to suffer alone. Find comfort in these verses from His Word …
1. “He is despised and rejected by men, a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53:4). Jesus, the greatest empathizer, understands what you are going through and will stay beside you.
2. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted” (Matthew 5:4). The Lord will wrap His arms of love and comfort around those who trust in Him.
3. “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3). Lean on God and allow Him to continue the process of healing your broken heart.
4. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble” (2 Corinthians 1:3, 4). Comforting you is God’s specialty.
5. “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10). God promises to be with you and get you through this time of intense disappointment and loneliness.
6. “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me” (Psalm 23:4). Depend on His guidance to lead you out of that dark valley.
7. “I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 4:13, 14). As believers, we have hope of the resurrection promised by God.
8. “The trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. … So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: ‘Death is swallowed up in victory’ ” (1 Corinthians 15:52, 54). At Christ’s return, those who belong to Him will be raised and given life that will never end.
9. “God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away” (Revelation 21:4). In the New Earth that God has promised to create, He will permanently dry your tears.
Cling to the Lord and He will comfort you through the process of grieving and, in the future, will replace your sorrow with great, unending joy!
I'm so sorry to hear about the sad loss of your son. I don't think there can be anything worse than losing a child. You have my deepest sympathy.
My deepest condolences for your great loss. I do know that for me time has helped but nothing has filled the void of the ones I miss. The ones we love will always be in our heart.
Prayer does work, and as Songbird has said, cling to the Lord and He will comfort you!
freedancer.. I’m so very sorry for your loss, I will keep you and yours in prayer. It’s a very hard road to travel, I too lost my son years ago. That is a loss that’s so different from any other. My fellow ostomate I will pray that god holds you up.
Sorry for your loss, I can only imagine how hard it is to loose a child. God bless you through this difficult time.
Dearest Freedancer. I am so very very sorry fir your loss. I am sending you strength and prayers for your healing.
Freedancer, we've had some great exchanges and you've taught me so much. In your terrible trials has come wisdom. I defer to the Scripture passages posted by songbird16...there again you will find more wisdon and solace. You've had such a difficult three years, may the passing of your beloved son be the last of your trials, and it be a springboard for a future of hope, happiness and prosperity. If not out of line, Happy New Year...as you work through your grief look for the light. Every horrific experience in my life has been folowed by the unexpected and welcome (although it takes a h*ll of a long time). Take your time and grieve for ALL your losses. With luck and prayer you will ever so slowly find, again, a life well worth living.
Heartfelt condolences, dls
i am so sorry for your loss and have walked in your shoes! I lost my son when he was just short of three years old and as time passes, there are days and weeks and yes, months that I do not think about him and sometimes it hits me like a punch in the stomach! Not sure time deals with it properly but it does ease and the frequency of complete grief lessens! It has been 40 years now and I sometime welcome it because there are few memories because they have faded too! I am sorry you have to go thru this but keep those wonderful memories in front!
Hello Freedancer. May I simply add my own sincere condolences for your loss.
Thank you, I hope you are doing better. I have begun to feel better. I went back to work and it really helped with the grief. I submitted his obituary today. Finally had the strength. Take care, Pamela
Thank you and yes, prayer helps healing.
Thank you. I am sorry for your loss as well.