Do You Name Your Stoma? Share Your Stories!

I'm curious if everyone here names their stoma. My ostomy nurse told me it was a very common thing. I named mine Marvin after Marvin the Martian because when he was fresh and new and all blobby, I thought he looked like a Martian coming out of my stomach. Then my ostomy nurse, whom I had for the first 2 months after surgery, started calling him a beautiful little rose. So then he became Marvin Rose. To add to that, one time my mom was trying to say "rose" and said "rays" instead. So now he is Marvin Rose Rays. Mostly, though, we call him Marvelous Marvin. Occasionally, I call him the super pooper. So, I was wondering who else has a name for their stoma. With a name, I can say in public, "Marvin needs some attention," and no one knows what I am talking about.

Lee

I call mine Herb. I don't know why. It just sounded like a good fit.

No disrespect  beach boy and to the majority  of the people on this site  but naming your stomia is fecking stupid  .

Well, I don't agree that naming is "fecking stupid," but I too do not see the need to name either my stoma or my bag. However, I understand why people do it.

Daniel

Yep, I often call it "that f...ing thing."

My Ostomy Journey: April | Hollister

Yes, Mr. K... Naming a body part is rather silly. Or as you opined: fecking stupid. All day and night, I like to feck around with my stoma. Thus, since I don't feck around with strangers, I named the little fecker; Herb.

But this raises a quandary... Does Herb like to feck around with me? Maybe, as Herb spews shit daily, he christened me with a silly name: to wit... Asshole.

Ever the smartass, I could have named my intestinal spout: Banana. Since a banana is an herb. But that would be somewhat obtuse for simpleton comprehension, who question the motives of others. It would be fecking unkind of a fecker like me.

As I daily ponder my poop pout, I'm amazed at the shit that pops out. How could I leave such a productive, vital organ unnamed? Like an orphan kicked to the curb and unloved. That would amount to stoma abuse. My other organs would revolt. "Why," they would scream... "are we captive in this human dolt?" "Feck him," they would whisper. Feck him to hell.

So to avoid a massive mess, I named my widdle piece of flesh. Yes, he be Herb.

And if you don't like it... feck ya

My stoma's name is Briella, which means "God is my strength," and her name fits quite perfectly. I am on my 6th stoma, and she has been through the mill and is still fighting.

Hey hey now, if you don't want to name yours, that's fine, but none of us who do name ours are on here calling you stupid for not naming your stoma.

I never named mine, but have referred to it/him as Pie Hole and Jackass. So, I guess his respectful name is Jack?

Wow, 6. I am on my second. My first was called Wormy because he looked like a worm. Well, he looked like a penis, but you can't go around referring to something as your penis when you are a female. LOL

Briella is a wonderful name, by the way.

Lee

Herb is a good name. I think whatever a person chooses is what is right for them. I have heard several different names over the course of getting to know people with ostomies. One person I met recently calls hers Melvin. And the nurse who took care of me in the hospital after my last surgery had an ostomy and she called it Alice.

Lee

Daniel, that isn't very nice. I am sure people don't insult you on here. Can you keep negative comments to yourself? Saying things like this may inhibit others from opening up and sharing their thoughts and experiences. If you are on here, you are here to support and be supported, not to talk negatively to other group members.

Lee

Jackass, that is funny, especially since a stoma is your new butt. LOL

Lee

Exactly! ;) You get it. Lol.

Totally!

Lee

It is fun participating. Posting silly stories and tales of medical adventures. Time flies by, days grow short. We're all temporarily on this medium-sized rock in the middle of endless space. Alone in our thoughts. In 50 years, no one will remember we once lived. Our accomplishments, arguments, loves, hates, friendships, and stoma names... will be forever lost to the endless tick of time. So Mr. K... no one now gives a shit what you think.

Prends soin de toi

If you read my comment again, I agree with you but in a more verbal way.

No, I never felt the need to, but I always think of my stoma as a man, perfect just like me, lol.

Hi Lee,

Thank you. And yes, all in a year and a half. It's been revised twice and relocated four times. The last three stomas were done in just the last three months, with two of them being open surgery (midline incisions).

My goodness, that is a lot of surgeries. I thought three in two years was a lot. You hang in there! Maybe the last one will be the right one for you.

Lee

Norm, short for Stormin' Norman. My stupid sense of humor has gotten me this far...

That is a good name. Today I have been referring to mine as The Liquidator because he has been all liquid all day.

Lee

I have sometimes called mine Stumpy as it looks like a small tree stump.

That is a cute name. Thank you for sharing.

Lee

Stella is her name! I can't yell "Stoma," I yell at Stella when she is bad!

My son is a big Halloween fan, and we call my bags "Stella's House of Horrors!"

Lol, that's funny. Sometimes the bag does seem like a house of horrors!

Lee

I have determined my stoma is nonbinary and sometimes call them Lesl(ie) or Lesl(ey). 🙂

My friend told me she named hers Rose. I told my doctor before surgery about it, and she said patients who name their stoma have a better recovery than those who don't (statistics she was quoting that I can't remember). So I opted for Red Velvet, as mine looked like a red velvet cupcake. Good idea about using that name in public.

Oh my goodness, I name everything! My brand new colostomy, once Lumpy was removed, is Luna McFart!! AKA "Loonie."

I'm 71 and get eyerolls, of course. But I figure, as a new (not necessarily wanted and a surprise) addition to my body family of me, myself, & I,

she deserved a name!!!

That is a good name, Leslie. Reminds me of Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster. No offense intended.

Lee