Struggling With Dating After Surgery - Need To Vent!

PsychoJane · 2009-07-16T15:56:54-04:00

Is it just me or is it hard to convince ourselves that the surgery has not played a part in the choice of someone to go with someone else rather than you, eh...? Lol. Really... 24 years old, trying to live my life fully... as I wish I could, lol. Well, I think I do pretty well... but is it just me that feels like I can't be a beast with someone who is just not aware of my situation, eh? I mean, I am pretty impressed. Most people deal well with it and won't make you feel bad or whatnot about it... At the least, it's been the case for me most of the time. But for fuck's sake, I don't know about you, but it's hard to be 100% on a first night with someone who doesn't know about it... I mean, my mind spends way more time focusing on the possible reactions than actually having fun.... (am I alone doing that). Anyway... Am I the only one to have issues taking people's word when they tell you it has nothing to do with it but that they kinda avoid you after... I mean... it's a first for me on that. And it makes me straight mad, lol.... ARGH! I guess that's why I was avoiding what could look like a superficial person at all costs... I guess I should have listened to myself again on that one. I know, that post is quite random, but I had to.... don't think anyone is in a better position than you all to understand that. On a positive note, life is good even with those shit. Let's be happy!

garfish

Mar 01, 2013 5:03 pm

Great attitude.

wise2stoma

Nov 18, 2013 12:48 am

I was still am exactly like you. Except with my husband, Jay. I used to get hurt as a child more because no one wanted to be my friend. There would be 2 reactions I always got. (1) Sympathy (2) Disgust. Nothing else. I thought I was destined to spend the rest of my life alone! But I was so wrong. I told Jay about both my bags just 2 days after meeting him. I'd invited him to watch DVDs at my flat and he started to move his hands to cuddle me, one hand reached my stomach and I knew he'd feel them. I went into the spare room where I kept all my clean bags and up to that very second I had no idea how I would break the news but then it hit me! I picked up one of my clean bags and hid it behind my back 'til I got in the room. I told him to brace himself, then I placed the bag in his hand and said "Do you know what that is?" He said, "Ah... One of them bags..?" I said, "Yes, I have to wear them." His immediate response was "So what!?!" I couldn't believe it. Then I said, "I don't just have 1, I have 2.." Once again he said, "Do what!!? If you want an honest, unprepared answer then my way of telling someone here you exactly that!!!!!! Trust me** Please contact me if you have questions. Thank you.

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wise2stoma

Nov 18, 2013 9:10 am

I was still am exactly like you. Except with my husband, Jay. I used to get hurt as a child more because no one wanted to be my friend. There would be 2 reactions I always got. (1) Sympathy (2) Disgust. Nothing else. I thought I was destined to spend the rest of my life alone! But I was so wrong. I told Jay about both my bags just 2 days after meeting him. I'd invited him to watch DVDs at my flat and he started to move his hands to cuddle me, one hand reached my stomach and I knew he'd feel them. I went into the spare room where I kept all my clean bags and up to that very second I had no idea how I would break the news but then it hit me! I picked up one of my clean bags and hid it behind my back 'til I got in the room. I told him to brace himself, then I placed the bag in his hand and said "Do you know what that is?" He said "Ah... One of them bags...?" I said "Yes, I have to wear them." His immediate response was "So what!?!" I couldn't believe it. Then I said "I don't just have 1, I have 2..." Once again he said "Do what!!? If you want an honest, unprepared answer then my way of telling someone here you exactly that!!!!!! Trust me** +44 7851796157* Please contact me if you have questions. Thank you. You are guaranteed to get their 100% honest reaction!!

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wise2stoma

Nov 18, 2013 5:43 pm

GUEST, I've had an ostomy all my life, 30 years counting. But it's only since meeting my husband on 10th May 2010 that I've started to accept myself. My husband has taught me..!

Struggling with Dating After Surgery - Need to Vent!