Hey there,
I had a bowel resection go septic in June, which is how I ended up with my colostomy. I have a tentative reversal booked for November.
I find myself living a balance of dealing with all the changes an ostomy has brought and being grateful they were able to catch my cancer and eliminate it.
I guess I just want to say that it's really important to feel your feels just as much as it is to be grateful. I, like you, have been through a lot, and it's totally valid to wallow in it if you need to. I find myself feeling guilty if I get down, like I have to be chipper and glad.
But the truth is, having an ostomy is a challenge. I'm just now heading back to work in a school, which causes a whole new type of upset. What if my bag leaks when I'm teaching? What if I can't get to a clean private space to handle my business? Maybe this won't happen at all, but learning to manage this outside the privacy of my home is scary.
The idea of being back in the hospital for my third surgery in 7 months is scary as hell too. I mean, besides being subjected to their shit food, what if there is another leak or other complications? How will the recovery go? Will my medical leave run out before I feel ready to come back to work?
Your experience is your own, so feel what you need to. Be pissed off, scared, grateful, confident, supported... this is a great place to vent to all types of folks on all types of situations.