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Mon Dec 13, 2021 2:22 pm
"MeetAnOstoMate is the best website for people with an Ostomy. So much understanding. Everyone should join."

Just wondering how long after getting your stoma bag did you feel comfortable to start dating ?

Mon Dec 13, 2021 2:42 pm

You're gonna get a lot of different answers cause that's a very individual specific topic. 

MeetAnOstoMate - 27,770 members
Mon Dec 13, 2021 5:54 pm

I still can't imagine dating, but I'm 65, had colostomy 7 years. This forum was the first I imagined. 

Mon Dec 13, 2021 7:06 pm

I think it would be up the each one. How comfortable you would be letting someone know you have a stoma bag . I can't really say much about this as I am out of the dating stage. It has been talked abot a lot on this site. If you click Collections at the top of the page then clisk on Premium Content. the are lot about dating under the Intimacy & Relationships with an Ostomy. Hope this helps Best wishes

Mon Dec 13, 2021 7:37 pm


lovely wrote:

I think it would be up the each one. How comfortable you would be letting someone know you have a stoma bag . I can't really say much about this as I am out of the dating stage. It has been talked ...

Most of the people that view this site won't pay to view the premium content stuff. 

Mon Dec 13, 2021 7:43 pm


AlexT wrote:

Most of the people that view this site won't pay to view the premium content stuff. 

AlexTt hanks for the info. I did not know you had to be a member to view that.

Wed Dec 15, 2021 10:57 am

Hi cb,

  The sarcastic answer to your question is......you'll be comfortable with dating when the person you're with finds out you have an ostomy and doesn't bolt out of the room screaming 'Holy crap...what was HE thinking!!".  And when that does happen.........you won't be comfortable anymore.  

  Seriously, there is no good answer to that question, as I'm sure you're really aware.  But you eventually have to test the waters or get used to being alone.  And it might not go so well when you try, but nothing in this world worth having ever comes easy.  Eventually you'll get to the point where you're comfortable in your own skin again regardless of what others think, and then rejection won't sting as bad.  And the longer you wait the more f&^ked up the rest of the dating population becomes, as no one dies healthy.  So the younger you are........the less understanding for your condition others your age will have.   Experience equals wisdom..........so go get you some!!

;0)

bob

Wed Dec 15, 2021 12:36 pm


lovely wrote:

AlexTt hanks for the info. I did not know you had to be a member to view that.

The website owners would have 3 times as many members if they'd charge companies to sponsor the site and ask for donations , allowing members full access. 

Wed Dec 15, 2021 2:01 pm

Alex, 

 The problem with that is then they're beholden to the sponsoring companies.  That puts them in a very precarious position if one or more decides to reduce advertising (funding) and can also spell censorship to comments negative to one or all of the paying sponsors.  It's a catch-22 for sure, no easy answer.  

  How much does it cost to join..........I looked but couldn't find the subscription price anywhere.  

;0)

bob

Wed Dec 15, 2021 2:49 pm


w30bob wrote:

Alex, 

 The problem with that is then they're beholden to the sponsoring companies.  That puts them in a very precarious position if one or more decides to reduce advertising (funding) and can ...

Not at all beholden to the companies, simply selling advertising space and contracts can be written as they see appropriate. Lifetime membership right now is $75. Then there's a couple cheaper options for less time. A lot of people that view this site are on fixed/limited incomes, spending the money(thinking they have to) to join could be the choice between paying this membership fee or using the money on something truly needed. Why do we get notifications when someone pays to be a premium member and told to check out their profile? For what, it's not like I(or any non paying member) can contact them. 

Sat Dec 18, 2021 10:34 pm

I'm still waiting on that and it been 6+ years. I honestly wish you the best and don't follow my steps. 

Sun Dec 19, 2021 7:52 pm

I had my original colostomy in 1993 at the age of 18.  I was already shy to begin with so I didn't even have any intimate moments or a gf until I was 23.  But every woman I dated after that has had no problem with my ostomy (illeostomy now).  I guess it depends more on the person you meet and start to get involved with.  My opinion is to just jump right into the dating scene and wing it as you go.  If you take the slow approach to relationship intimacy, you don't have to even mention you have an ostomy right away.  You could wait for a second or third date and then bring it up once she gets to know you more.  If you are inclined to jump into an intimate relationship sooner, I would bring it up before you decide to get intimate...not the night of.  I'd bring it up during your first/second date or at the end of that date if you feel things are moving quickly.

Just my personal experience and opinion. :) 

Sun Dec 19, 2021 8:27 pm


2hotscot wrote:

I had my original colostomy in 1993 at the age of 18.  I was already shy to begin with so I didn't even have any intimate moments or a gf until I was 23.  But every woman I dated after that has h...

There's some pretty aggressive women out there nowadays(not that I would know), ya better bring it up in the first 10 minutes or so. 😁 


Fri Jan 07, 2022 2:56 pm


AlexT wrote:

There's some pretty aggressive women out there nowadays(not that I would know), ya better bring it up in the first 10 minutes or so. 😁 

LOL 😯


Mon Feb 07, 2022 6:36 am

I never liked 'dating' before I had an ostomy so I'm sure I really really wouldn't like it now. 😬

I got my ostomy March 2020 and I have hardly been out in public since (I guess partly due to covid). So I guess, how am I supposed to meet anyone? LOL I think I'm scared of rejection now. 😔

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