I'm sitting here musing about the latest public restroom demands made by the GLBT people. Public restrooms are a sore spot with me. I like a nice, clean restroom for taking care of my needs, but that's getting hard to find. It seems that people that don't have the concerns we do go into public restrooms and turn a perfectly good toilet into a germ-infested porcelain hellhole. Now don't get me wrong, thank goodness I don't have to sit on their disgusting work of art, but having to look at it is bad enough. I always try to leave a public restroom in better condition than when I found it, but for those occasions when some thoughtless individual explodes into and onto the throne and then just leaves it for the next guy... well, it gripes the heck out of me. That being said, I'd like to address the subject of the health and well-being of those of us who have to use public facilities to carefully empty our juice bags. I find it always uncomfortable to have to follow up a nice dinner at some swanky, high-cost feed trough by making a trip to the restroom, but food goes through me quick as a whistle and usually before it's time to pay for our dinners, it's also time to visit the latrine. Invariably, there are other folks already standing in line and they take a whole lot longer to relieve themselves than I do. And since the GLBT'ers all want to use the men's room, those lines are going to get even longer. There are two reasons for that. Number one: they first have to clean up the mess the last guy left before they can take a seat, and number two: the number 2 stuff takes a lot longer to slide out of them than it does to slide out of my plastic bag. But once I get up to the front of the line, my bag is starting to get to an overinflated condition and so as I take my turn, there is the terrible sound of the rushing of high-pressure slurry along with the accompanying perfume from partly digested victuals. Unfortunately, those in the line behind me don't seem to enjoy the aroma and I always get dirty looks and even an occasional comment like, "Hey buddy, you better see a doctor." Well, my name isn't Buddy, and seeing a doctor is what got me to where I'm at today. And that leads me to the point of this short article... us folks with ostomies need to have a nice, clean, private, lockable restroom to take care of our necessities. It should have a toilet, a urinal, a powerful evacuation fan, a waste sink for rinsing out our bags, and plenty of soap and paper towels for washing up when we're done. And since it's designed for one person at a time, it could be used by both men and women. If the high-class eating establishment or any other business, for that matter, wants to be extra accommodating, they could have a card reader so we could pay our bill and add a fifty-cent tip while we're still in the commodious room. Yes, sir, that's what we need. If you agree with me, let's organize and do riots and all that stuff and get this thing done.
What you are describing, Poeticodan, is highly desirable but quite unlikely. Everyone wants first class toilet accommodations, not just ostomates or parents with babies. I have a recommendation that might help: (1) Don't patronize places that don't properly maintain their restrooms or that don't provide adequate stalls. Also, people who wrap toilet tissue around the seat, do their business, and then leave this mess for someone else to clean up ought to be dunked in the town cesspool. I agree with you that we ought to leave a toilet at least as clean as we found it, but I can't see hiring "potty police" to monitor our transactions. Perhaps technology will one day provide us with commodes that are automatically cleaned after every usage. I think this is already being done in some cities in Europe. Family-friendly private changing rooms, moreover, are now available in many places and should be expressly available to the ostomy community when changing appliances become necessary. Let's riot anyway cause it's our turn.
PB
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I can almost understand that restaurants etc. don't have the best of facilities for us but I have much more difficulty being tolerant with hospitals who undertake surgical procedures to give people stomas not providing appropriate facilities to cope with them in the early stages. I was in one hospital and needed to clean up and the toilets were not suitable. When I explained that to a member of the staff they sent me down to what they called the sluice-room. This was where they sent the soiled linen for washing it was a 'public' laundry area with no privacy but by that time I was past caring. I now make a point of writing my complaints about any facility I think is not up to standard. (sometimes these complaints are in rhyming verse which is my own bureaucratic attempt at a riot!) Interestingly, some of the best facilities I've come across are those in the Day Centres for the elderly. I suspect that they were designed more for the benefit of the staff than the actual users but nevertheless many of them are almost ideal for our needs. Also they have the added benefit of having knowledgeable staff around who are not squeamish about helping out when things get out of hand.
Best wishes
Bill
I'll join that picket line. The first thing I said when McCrory started this uproar (I'm from NC) was why don't we fight for separate restrooms for ostomates. We supply a way for moms to change the dirty bottoms of children, so why not our medically challenged citizens. The stigma attached to a bag glued to your stomach is debilitating, and the expectation that wearing a plastic sack full of shit for days at a time is acceptable is just wrong as well as humiliating. LGBT was/is your choice---This sack glued on my stomach was never mine. Where are MY rights ?? STOP the nonsense. There are plenty of worthwhile issues to fight about.
What a potent discussion! Look at the terminals. We started by talking about restrooms and ended up considering broader human rights. We are slouching well past Jerusalem.
PB
Hi everyone, I would like to add to this post as well. I also feel a bit discriminated against because we could use a few added features/benefits added to the public restroom. It would be nice to have one of those pull-down shelves to place our items. I can't imagine installing a metal shelf would break the budget of any establishment. This item would be so helpful to ostomates and other persons needing space to place supplies. I find the public toilet inadequate and filthy. Because I empty sitting down, I am forever covering the toilet seat with covers and toilet paper. What a mess. An ostomate friend suggested emptying standing up, so I tried it. No good...I almost emptied everything on my slacks and really needed an extra hand to clean up. I managed, but never again. In addition, there is a post going around on FB demonstrating our challenges with bathroom emptying and changing an appliance. It is pretty telling. Thank you for the thoughts and hopefully by voicing our concerns together, we will make a positive, improved difference for all of us. LH
Hi LadyHope... I'm still figuring out how to respond and communicate in the forum, but I saw that you had said "hello" and I thought I responded but just wanted to make sure!
Hi CH, thanks for your post! Unfortunately, I did not see your response but you may have posted it after I had already signed out. This is an excellent forum to meet others traveling a similar path. Having an ostomy is different and for me, it took some time adjusting and accepting. I gained my ileostomy due to unresolved ulcerative colitis which I believe was caused by eating a spoiled hamburger. One day I was fine and the next, I was having all sorts of bowel issues which eventually led to surgery. It has been three years for me and I am doing well. I was able to return to work and back to my life. I am grateful for a second chance and try to live each day to the fullest extent possible...even if it is completing normal "boring" responsibilities. These tasks are not so boring anymore because a few years ago I really could not do much of anything...too weak and too ill. How are you doing and adjusting to your colostomy? This is a wonderful site to post questions, engage, learn new things and just be part of a wonderful group of courageous survivors. We are here to help one another. Before my surgery, I found this site by accident and read the posts day and night to learn. Thanks to this group, I was able to get through the darkest days and see the light once again. Take care CH and welcome to Meet an Ostomate. Sincerely, LadyHope
Thank you LadyHope for your words of encouragement... It sounds like you've had quite a journey! I'm doing well.. It's life changing for sure but like you, I'm grateful for every day and you're right.. The mundane things become precious after an illness where you're unable to do much. Mine completely blindsided me.. I had had a colonoscopy just 3 years prior and no family history of colorectal/colon cancer. I was pretty much asymptomatic with the exception of pain in the right side of the bottom cheek and a bit of constipation.. I was a 54-year-old menopausal woman so I wasn't too alarmed.. My tumor was found in a gynecological rectal exam.. I had chemotherapy and 30 radiation treatments then surgery.. They couldn't even see any of the tumor when they got in there.. Only scar tissue.. A completely clear scan.. Cancer-free.. No treatment afterwards and overall I'm doing great! I try to figure out creative ways to disguise the bag and for the most part life is back to normal.. I'm very blessed and enjoy life with my husband of 27 years and my two adult children. I'm so happy to have found this forum.. I think I will hopefully be able to get send maybe give some positive vibes!
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Okay Ms. Eatwell. Are the results of your eating well the problem? If so, I hope you're able to Copewell (there are 2 people named Copewell in the US). I bet your eating doesn't have anything to do with your Crohn's Disease though. And if you're like me, because of your situation you don't smell well, and just in case you didn't know, there is exactly one person in America whose surname is Smellwell.