On a beautiful April Fool's Day in 2016 in Newport Beach, California, Tommy was born. He was planned. We knew he was coming. You'd think we would be ready. But are you ever really ready for a new addition to the family?
After the ups and downs we had during treatment and after, Tommy would be a great relief. I knew that. Logically, I knew that. My gut told me it was the right thing to do. Everything pointed to 'do it'. If only my heart would get on board.
This was the photo taken the day after my surgery. My eyes are puffy. My hair is a mess. For the first time in several months, there was no leakage. No smell. Nothing. So after all the hesitation. All the postponements. I was better.
I should be happy... Right?
It would take many more days to get there.
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Thanks for your post as it is a reminder to us all that, even though we may think we are well prepared for this operation. the reality of it can have surprising effects.
I hope everything has now settled and you are on your way to recovery on all fronts
Best wishes
Bill
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Well, I hit the two year mark. I went back and read my posts from when I first found this site. I was very fortunate in that I stumbled upon it only 4 weeks post op. I have said many times that this community really saved me. The first 2 weeks after my surgery I shut down completely. It wasn't until about the 3rd week that my son came in to my room, flicked on the light and told me I was going to have to get back to living because I was scaring him. I had fallen into such a depression. He ticked me off, but it also made me stop and think- what was I going to do? Feel sorry for myself and sulk, or be grateful I was alive.
I've re-read my journals from that time and it was after my son kicked my butt, so to speak, I took an honest inventory and had to dig deeper than I've ever had to. I mean, I had survived a pretty nasty divorce, after a pretty crappy marriage and that was tough. But this was different. I felt like I was now a handicapped person who would be limited in their life and be looked at as a freak. My mental state was precarious, at best.
But then I found this site. I just lurked a bit before posting. I read so many of the other stories and I started to see just how full my life can be, I was not handicapped, and certainly not a freak! The stories of survival, the sense of humor, the support and compassion was inspiring. It was then I made myself get out of the dark, and get my sh*t together.
Not all rainbows and sunshine at first, hardly! But with grace from myself - to myself, and the kindness and willingness of the folks here to be supportive, non judgemental and openly share intimate details about their life circumstances, l not only survived but thrived.
I think of all the years I had suffered with such extreme pain, barely functioning, and the many hospital stays and how that is all behind me now. (All fingers, toes, and legs crossed that I never have to go near a hospital for myself ever again. I think I'd rather have a fork stuck in my eye. I loathe every about them.)
So, to everyone who has been a part of this journey with me, to say thank you is not enough. I'm forever grateful to know you all. My Angels, each one of you.
And as the Grateful Dead famously said,
"what a long strange trip it's been!"
Im so happy I'm tripping with you all.
Thank you for your post! Boy, can I relate! Maxine has been by my side now for about 6 weeks. I have learned to tolerate her except when she gets angry and protests everything I do. At that point, I have to get an ibuprofen and a gas pill to shut her up enough to be able to at least rest. She likes the heating pad, so I often soothe her angry temperament with that. I am still experimenting with food, so sometimes I don't get it right.
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Hi Lilmesican, I just read your post about your surgery. I completely get it and understand how you are feeling. A person is prepared but not really prepared for the birth of a stoma unless it is completely an emergency situation. For me, some days are fine and other days I am still sad and I cry. I am blessed because my life has continued and I am here with a few minor changes. It is still frustrating for me at times when I think that I was never sick prior to eating a bad hamburger. I believe I was infected with E. coli, which caused UC and here I am today, stoma and all. I force myself to look at the positive and appreciate life. I am grateful far more today than I was prior to major surgery. I still get scared sometimes, afraid that something else will happen, but I try to push through those negative thoughts. Keep posting...once things settle and you get into a routine, stoma living is more manageable. Good luck and keep in touch. Sincerely, LadyHope
Oops, made a typo... A person is not really prepared and certainly not prepared if it is an emergency situation. Ugh... sorry.
How to Adjust to Life with an Ostomy with Bruce | Hollister
I find your comment very interesting, LadyHope. I had my attack of whatever destroyed my lower bowel also after eating a hamburger. Since I now have a permanent ileostomy, I literally become ill at the smell of them now. My husband eats them all the time and keeps offering them to me even though he knows I am totally off them now. Are you able to eat them again? How about French fries or hash browns?
Hello
*Bill: I am doing well now. I bought a couple of waistbands that keep Tommy settled and hidden, so I feel more comfortable and confident.
*Freedancer: I never thought about a heating pad. I'm going to try that, thanks!!!
*LadyHope: For me, it's cheese. I love pizza, but after Tommy, any dairy is a war zone. I have to carry Lactaid pills everywhere I go because sometimes I'm not sure what they are making food with, especially on flights!!!
I avoid the fried stuff; it kills me!!!