What is the best thing someone has done after a surgery for you?

Hey y'all, after having last year be a really crappy one with surgeries/complications/recoveries I'm trying to think of things that would help other people in the future. Sometimes in the midst of it, if someone asks what they can do for you, it can be difficult to ask for what you actually need or want. I'm trying to circle back in my own mind and find the blessings during some really difficult times.

So what are some of your favorite/best/kindest things someone has done for you after a surgery/recovery period?

I was made aware of ReelRecovery.org that provides fly-fishing retreats across the USA for men who have/had cancer (there is an organization for women as well). I traveled from Ontario to Missoula, Montana for fishing and discussion sessions. All you have to do is get there - everything else is paid for - wonderful healing experience.

Bryce

When I got out of the hospital, I was blessed with the fact that I never had to ask for anything. My two daughters were there constantly, wouldn't let me do anything. They'd get pissed if I did something maybe I shouldn't have done without asking them. Wanted for nothing. My late wife and I, we did good work raising them.

Best thing that happened to me following my surgery was my wife staying with me from morning until evening for the vast majority of my 3-month stay in the hospital. She works, but is able to do so remotely and the hospital had decent guest wifi. Her presence made a huge difference in my successful recovery from what was a close brush with the end of being.

--Daniel

Bollocks, eat and drink whatever you want. It came from a student nurse that said he had an ileostomy after he overheard an ostomy nurse telling me all the things I would never be able to eat again. Wise words, he was right. I was youngish when I had my ileostomy, living at home. Mom spoilt me rotten with love and care.

What wonderful people they are. Fishing is a lovely way to get your mind off things. When you are down and out, it is the kind gesture that affects you the most.

My husband gave me foot rubs in the hospital after my four ostomy surgeries. I can't tell you how much it took my mind off my pain and put me almost in a trance.

My son drove down and left 10 meals in the freezer, cleaned the house, and did some washing.

Really appreciated that, as my wife was overseas looking after her 86-year-old mum.

A good friend went and cut, split, and stacked a huge load of firewood outside my front door. Winter here now.

And 12 people replied to my post about having no energy. One woman really hit the nail on the head,

when she wrote, "I feel it in my bones, muscles, and connective tissues."

Her name: Crappycolondiaries. Thanks.

I am a single person with no children and only one wonderful sister for family. For me, it was the medical professionals who made me want to keep going. Several months of on and off chemo and the same with radiation; repeated infections and complications put pause on treatment. 14 months after colostomy and APR, I was feeling pretty good, and boom.

How does rectal cancer spread to the lung? More radiation, which made me unsteady. Had a 2 am blowout which led to a fall and a shattered left humerus. Inverted shoulder replacement.

The social worker at my cancer center emails me weekly. My oncologists are wonderful people and go out of their way to support me. Home care nurses for the months that the APR incision took to resolve. Physical and occupational therapists working with me in my home. The list goes on.

I never imagined how wonderful folks could be, and I hope to recover enough to contribute to the system that not only kept me here but gave me a positive outlook.

On the day I came home from the hospital, my 16-year-old son sat with me holding my hand until I fell asleep. When I woke up, my 19-year-old daughter was in his place holding my hand.

For the first 3 days, they took shifts just "being there" while their mom got much-needed sleep after spending every day in the ward with me.

It sounds like you guys have done a great job raising those kids.

Awwww :-) Thank you!!

Oh my gosh, Imsafanwa! How in the world did you manage an ostomy with a broken shoulder and humerus? That is my biggest fear. That I would break an arm or a hand or wrist. I broke my foot and did OK but not having two hands to change the ostomy terrorizes me. You have really been through the mill! Let me know how you handled all that! Hugs and positive vibes coming your way! Jeanne

It's amazing how "some people" really step up when a friend or family is in need. I had my surgery when I was 15. I was in Manhattan (NY) teaching hospital, while with parents lived in Brooklyn. I had three student nurses assigned to me on different shifts, who were only about 5-7 years older than I was. They knew as little as I did about ostomy care, and there were no stoma care nurses back then in the 1960s. Supplies were limited, most doctors (mine included) were of no help. The ostomy visitors would be more help when I was out of the hospital. Along with my three nurses (who supported and helped me), the resident on my surgeon's service made me "face facts". He made me learn how to clean up and apply the flimsy temporary plastic pouches myself, telling me I wasn't "TWO" or a baby, and no one was there to "clean my (new) ass. Blunt? Perhaps. But he was a godsend. I was in the hospital for 3 months (two surgeries, Sept - Dec), and even when he switched services, he was there for me. Ironically, 4 years later, I was back in the same hospital for the final surgery, removal of the rectal stump that had never healed. In the hallway, I heard a familiar voice. It was Dr. Mueller from years before, now a staff Gyn Resident. It was great to see him. Complications to that surgery (cut nerves to the bladder) kept me in the hospital for 3 months, so I renewed my friendship with the earlier doctor and developed some other friendships with doctors assigned to my case. I was always grateful that these doctors/nurses in training made the time to reassure a very young and scared patient. A few years ago, I tracked down Dr. Mueller, who was "old" but still practicing in NJ. He didn't remember me, but I thanked him for all he had done. Best regards, Marsha.

You did a good job raising those kids

Thank you for your kind words. :-)