BeachBoy AI Released Amidst Disappearance Mystery

Credible reports are pouring in about the disappearance of BeachBoy. Last seen entering a honky-tonk bar with Noodles Malone and Flabby. In the wee hours, BeachBoy has vanished. Noodles and Flabby denied comment and remain tight-lipped. Concerned fans around the world held protests demanding: FIND HIM.
To maintain social equilibrium, BeachBoy AI has been released. The autobot app looks, feels, and jabbers exactly like the Boy himself. An example below.

Hiya fellow Ostee's. BeachBoy here. I told a funny one last night: a warrior walks into a bar... nearly breaks a tooth.
Har har hee hee, ain't I funny?
That BeachieBoy is something else. But what else is there? Oh... I make another funny.
Me ma me ma me ma.... We are experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by as we reboot the AI app................

Okay... I'm back. Feel better. That Beach dude is like 5 pounds of poop in a 2-pound bag. Oh... ha! Another funny. I'm overflowing with wit.

Witty, full of banter, joy, and spunk... BeachBoy AI is sure to please even the most discriminating Ostemate.
Download your copy today.

Downloading virus to Beachboy's computer... 3...2...1... zap...

You're welcome, folks. Ta ta...

AI tracking subject: Warrior

Latitude and longitude coordinates are: 39.833851, -74.871826. Easy to track him, New Jersey... one of the smallest states of the USA.

Prep Skynet. System online. Status is green. Terminator boot up complete, charging main lasers.

Retro injection sequence start. Standby. Battle computer logic refresh... complete.

Terminator on the ground. Subject enemy located, visual good. Warrior runs. Terminator walks. Soon the quarry is cornered. But Terminator must empty ostomy bag. Stares red eyes at warrior and growls... I'll be back!

BB is a restless soul. His essence is not captured in the BB AI app. Reminds me of a song I used to listen to called "Man on the Run" by the "Little River Band".

Well... my soul is soon rested. After 28 years of putting in long, hard work... I was laid off yesterday and escorted out in front of coworkers like a mangy dog.

The only thing that really sucks is losing company-provided healthcare.

Is that true, BB, or part of your fantasy? Have you been laid off? Regards, IGGIE

Sad to read this. Layoffs can be difficult if you let them consume you. View it as an opportunity to acquire a more fulfilling job. The more positive your projections, the easier it becomes to land a job. Also, don't disregard the possibility of changing professions. Beginning to pray for you, BB.

Oh man... sorry to hear that. Their loss... you did your time though. Perhaps it is time to relax and enjoy the golden years. Just another chapter, another adjustment...

You can collect... but private insurance will suck the life out of you...

You are still young. A simple, close-by job location would do you good...

Get out of the house... go hang ten more often. 🏄🏄‍♂️

I find resorting to such a useless character from the 80's beyond contempt. If memory serves me right, he was terminated by a crushing device. Perhaps a trash compactor?

Silly beach boy, Trix are for kids.

Kindly remember, your twin will suffer a fate beyond human and mechanical means should I become terminated.

Your move... decide wisely... 🤔

Bah hah ha hah! 🤨

 

Oh man, I am so sorry that you got laid off after putting in all the years. This seems to happen to many people because the companies do not want to pay the benefits out. This happened to my brother and a couple of friends. Prayers that you find something better.

Millions of jobs out there to be had. For any of us with health issues, the health insurance benefit is huge.

Seriously? O_O

Oh no, I am very sorry to hear this, BB. Same happened to me with a job I was at for 21 years. They got rid of all of us that had been with this family-run company since it started and ended up in bankruptcy anyway. That's another story, but I learned that everything happens for a reason, even if you don't know it at the time. I grieved for months, then landed a wonderful job that was better in every single way than the one I lost. Looking back, I am so grateful they let us go. Only wish it had happened 10 years sooner than it did, lol. Take some time for yourself, and know that things will work out. Everything will be OK!

Hi Iggie,

Yes, I've been unceremoniously given the boot.

I still have to go to work for 60 days, but not to my work area. I go to a "redeployment" office where I'm supposed to update my resume and look for other jobs.

In California, there is a law. Workers have to be given 60 days' paid notice before being laid off. So I sit around for 60 days, then bid them farewell.

It will be strange for a while. I've worked 6 to 7 days a week, 10 to 12 hours a day since 1976.

The first thing my wife said was, "What! You'll be home all day?!"

My cat was happy.

Hello,

I'm not going to work again. Since I was young, I saved money and invested. Stayed out of debt. The only thing I ever bought on credit was my house. I could have retired at age 50. But then do what? I've traveled all over the world, had a great time... in between hospital stays and surgeries.

I never thought I would get old due to having stage 4 thyroid cancer at 25. But I'm proof... you just never know.

 

The Terminator comes 2 to a package... yes, he too has a twin!

Hee, heeeee. Ha, haaaaaa. OUCH - that tickled the old stoma!

Yes. I now have to go on Medicare. My wife can remain on company retiree medical until age 65. But it will cost $1,300 a month with a $2,000 deductible.

If anyone needs to find me... I'll be at Denny's every day at 5:00. Lined up for the senior special.

Yeah, I was disappointed. Especially how I was escorted out in front of my coworkers.

Management believes AI and high technology will enable low-cost, low-skill young technicians to perform complex work. Skill and experience are not valued anymore.

But I'll be fine. The biggest decision is whether I remain in California or leave.

When they cut management at my work, they have a company cop there while they pack up their stuff and escort them out.

.

G'day BB, that's so sad, mate. But you're 65, and it could be a good thing. I have been retired since I was 59, so 17 years now, and I haven't got enough hours in the day. Have you got a hobby or something you and the wife can do together? I lost my lady 9 years ago and miss her like crazy, but life has to go on. I do my photography, and I enjoy making things in my garage. You also have a flair for writing, and you have traveled a lot. I feel a book coming on. Give it a go. By the way, get the cat to have a word with your wife. Regards, IGGIE

We have the same. Company has 2 different types of security guards and government-provided agents.

It's kind of funny. Even though we are targeted for layoff, we are still employees for 45 days. I now report to an engineering building called the redeployment center. Full of cubicles, each laid-off person gets a laptop computer to use. We are supposed to look for another position in the company. At the end of 45 days, if we didn't find another job, we are given an official 2-week layoff notice. Sign a bunch of paperwork, get debriefed from security clearances. Remove all my toolboxes. Then 2 weeks later, given final checks and sent home.

So, a long process. Company is fair about it. Many of my coworkers have stopped by to wish me farewell. They are shocked I'm leaving. One senior engineering lady was crying... I felt kind of sad. I'm very well known all over the company.

But, all good things come to an end.

Thanks, Iggie.

I always have to remind myself that I'm an older person. Even at 66 years old, I was working 10 hours a day, with a 3-hour commute back and forth from home.

Over the years, I've witnessed some sad events when co-workers retired. A mechanical engineer retired after 35 years. Went all over the company saying goodbye. Stopped by the prototype machine shop I was working in. We wished him well. In the parking lot, he shot himself in the heart.

Another engineer jumped off a 4-story high bay.

A machinist drank himself to death.

I saw a really old senior engineer yesterday. Stooped over, using a walker, shuffling down the hall. Still hanging in there.

At first, many work to make money. But as years fly by, work defines them. And once it's gone, they are like a ship without a rudder in a stormy sea.

...BB..Don't get any ideas thinking that shit, young man. i will fly out there and beat common sense into your sponge bob square head. u see, even smart ppl have no common sense.

no ship gets sunk around here, dude.not on my watch...nope..

I got can of whoop ass with yur name on it.

I will send it federal express...if need be.☺️👍 Will get Flabby involved for that. 

Old railroaders are the same; their work is their life.

Here you go, BB...

@BB...

Not in my back yard, bucko! 🪓⚔️🗡️

No, not Flabby!

OMG, that is so funny... and yet so true.

Yeah... my bosses, trying to reinvent the wheel.

🤣!