Hi from New Zealand,
I can completely empathize. When I got my ileostomy 28 years ago, I started finding it harder and harder to eat. And the few things I was allowed to eat didn't get absorbed at all, so I was constantly battling with malnutrition. After more than 50 operations, I learned everything I never wanted to know about adhesions. The doctors tried numerous times to remove all of my adhesions without any success.
So I was given a feeding tube, only my tube kept leaking, and after a while, my skin started deteriorating, and then it started becoming infected, so the doctors in the hospital decided to pull my feeding tube out. They then decided to try giving me 6 x 200ml bottles of Fortisip a day - which is nutritionally complete. (After having a Barium Swallow test, they found out that my 3.5 meters of small bowel had rapid gastric emptying or dumping syndrome, as I'd eat something and it would generally all come out after 15 minutes.)
I was originally allowed to eat for pleasure for a while. But every time I ate something, I'd end up in so much pain from anywhere between 8 hours to 72 hours, of 10 out of 10 sort of pain.
Yes, I still miss eating, just not as much as I once did. Sometimes I am really tempted if I cook something for my husband that smells so fantastic that I'm really tempted - but a quick reminder of what eating does to me by my husband John will stop me from actually eating anything.
I used to love eating. But enjoying eating something for a few minutes is not worth many hours of pain. The only things I can eat now are things that will melt in my mouth....
The only advice that I can give you is to see if you can see a gastroenterologist and also talk to a dietician. Find out what you can eat and what gives you problems. Don't try to live like you did before you got your ileostomy, as you will only end up having repeated bowel obstructions.
Sure, there are people with ileostomies who can eat whatever they like - but not all of us have that kind of luck.
I know and can fully understand that you'd like to go back to the way things used to be before you had your surgery. Unfortunately, this is the way life decided to go for us, and there's nothing we can do except accept the situation we now find ourselves in.
But like my family keeps pointing out to me, life is not fair, and sometimes that means accepting our new reality. Eating was something I once did as it gave me comfort, and I never ever dreamed that I'd get to a point where I have basically gotten used to not being able to eat, even if that makes it all the harder when we get invited to stay for dinner at someone's home, which makes me acutely uncomfortable, as I no longer join people at the dining table because I don't want to watch everyone eat all the foods I once loved to eat but now can no longer eat.
Some people are very understanding and will go out of their way to make sure that there are things I can drink instead, while other people do not have any consideration and deliberately seem to enjoy making me feel as uncomfortable as they can by not providing me even something to drink - so those types of people I no longer visit (and yes, many are family who desperately cling to the hope that I am making this all up because it's all in my mind - and I don't need those types of people in my life.
All the best, take care of yourself.
Gracie