Hi all, I am new to this site. I had an ileostomy three months ago due to my sigmoid colon being stuck and dead. And I had a prolapse. Ever since my surgery, I have been in the hospital for 8 weeks. The first three weeks, I had complications right away; my stoma inverted and got inflammation. They put me on TPN, and I got more complications. I ended back in the hospital. I was not eating or drinking anything, so they put in a feeding tube down my nose. I was seriously dehydrated and started having kidney issues. Then I ended up in the hospital again for severely dehydration, so they took out the feeding tube. I am still not eating and drinking. I eat maybe one meal a day; I am not hungry for the rest of the day. Am I supposed to be feeling this way? The doctor keeps on doing blood work every two to three days, and my kidney numbers keep going up, so he gave me IV fluids at home. I don't think it helps. I really appreciate any advice. Thanks.
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About seven years ago, just about every aspect of my life was ostomy related. From the moment I was told an ostomy might be needed until some months down the road I existed as a person afflicted with a colostomy. I feared someone other than my immediate family might find out I had a bag. Ugh! What could be worse? Suppose it filled real fast when I was out with no place to hide and take care of myself. God forbid should it leak in church! Suppose I roll over on it in bed. I was a lesser creature, destined to a life of emotional anguish and physical routines different from most of the rest of the world. I felt like a freak. Then I found folks like you guys here, read your stuff, really “listened” to what you had to say and I began looking at things differently. We know perception is everything and I began to understand how good things were relative to what they could’ve been. So many folks had it so much worse than I did. That didn’t make my discomfort go away but it exposed how fortunate I was to be dealing with my stuff and not their’s. I felt a little guilt, maybe selfishness but quickly forgave myself by understanding I just wasn’t smart enough to fix my feelings. Then, I wonder what smarts have to do with feelings. My perception was warped so my perspective toward my existence was warped.
I learned over the last few years with the help of lots of folks right here at MAO that I could be better at living just by accepting some facts. It is what it is and so what? It’s not the worst thing to happen to a person.
I think everything is, in some way, related to everything else. I just put the ostomy thing in the back seat and drive forward.
Respectfully,
Mike
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