Hi Macsac1, I have had a stoma now since I was 27 and now in my early 40s. They left a stump attached to my anus, which now seems to have Crohn's in it, not the actual removed bowel.
For years now, my surgeon has been pushing me to have my anus removed. When I advised that I am gay and this is my sexual organ, he was very unimpressed and quite rude.
I then sought sexual psychological help in an attempt to try to become a top/active, despite always being a btm/passive in a gay male relationship.
This did not change, and furthermore, due to the depression and mental health issues plus nerve damage during surgery, I am not able to always get an erection even with medication, which makes the use of my anus even more important as it's the only form of sexual pleasure I will get.
I have read up that cancer survivors can have a procedure called Anterior Perineal Plane for ultra-low Anterior Resection, which removes the rectum and replaces it with some of their bowel and then reconnects, removing the stoma.
Personally, I'm not worried about reversal of the stoma, and I'd keep it, but the idea of having the rectum replaced with healthy bowel tissue, which would allow me to have sex, is a game changer for me. My only problem is that this is seen as normal for cancer patients but not for Crohn's patients. I have also read up on human and equality rights, as I am sure that as a gay man, I should not be assessed for this procedure as if I was a straight patient.
I totally get why you have asked this question, as it's not a case of just switching sexual positions. Would a straight man just go gay and have anal sex if he had his penis removed? NO!
And I personally take the comment further down that said just find something else like blow jobs as not only offensive but a clear show of lack of intelligence and maturity. Maybe he should find something else like a bus to walk in front of, as this is a real issue for people and should not be mocked by an insensitive idiot.