I'm alive

I just wanted to share this with whomever wants to read it.
As I was coming home from the hospital after 3 weeks and 4 surgeries later about 5 weeks ago...I was feeling lower than low. I had gone in for a routine hysterectomy at age 39 and after almost dying from lying there for 4 days with my belly filling up with feces and pus; I came out with a colostomy.
I was crying constantly, staring at this alien "thing" attached to my left side and feeling totally overwhelmed.
My boyfriend had on the country music station and the most amazing thing came through the speakers. It was a song by Kenny Chesney with Dave Matthews called "I'm Alive".
It was as if the Lord put that song on at that exact moment. I have read these lyrics whenever I feel I need a reminder of how very lucky I am to be alive, how grateful I am, bag or no bag.
I wanted to share them with y'all.
Have a beautiful day. Hannah

I'm Alive Lyrics

Great song
Mary

Most excellent!!!

Thanks for the great post!

You made my day. Bless your heart. And you!

Hi Hannah! Thank you for sharing that with us. I understand your thoughts completely. Sometimes when I start feeling a little sorry for myself, I have to think about how blessed I truly am for still being here. I don't know how many people have named their stoma, but I did mine. And its name is Grace because it is a reminder of how God showed His favor on me in allowing me to still be alive with my children and my dreams! Take care TXgirl and continue listening to that song and keeping your spirits up. That's the best way of handling the changes we have gone through.

Great song. Your attitude and courage are admirable.

Hi, y'all are so nice! I just figured we could all use some encouragement and a boost up once in a while.
It's a scary thing, whether we have temporary ostomies or permanent ones. No one will ever know what it's like to deal with this until they (God forbid) walk in our shoes.
I don't ever want to have the "oh poor me" attitude but my Mama said something the other day on the phone when I said "There's always someone worse off than me and I don't have it that bad." She replied, "Hannah, I think it's great you have such a good attitude, but don't think for one minute that what you have been through and will go through isn't absolutely horrible." lol So I thought, "Dang!! She's right, this IS horrible and it sucks and I hate it, but then, why shouldn't I have to deal with it? Why NOT me?"
I don't know, I cry and get sad but the feeling of being so deathly ill and coming that close to death did something to me, changed my outlook and honestly, I hope this feeling of appreciation of life and the people in it never goes away.
Love to you all and once again, thank you for being so kind to a new girl. 3

Hi, your story is almost similar to mine except I was in intensive care for 9 weeks and 3 weeks on a general ward. I also had a tracheotomy, septicemia, septic shock, and lost all my hair through stress and trauma and many more complications. I have recently had my reversal and my hernia repaired.

The words of the song are so true and we have to live our life as best we can and enjoy our second chance. Take care, Pippa

Pippa,
I'm so glad you are doing better. It sounds so devastating, what you went through.
That is exactly what I mean when I say, there is someone who has been through much more than I have.
Have a great day!

Hi

I also went through a traumatic experience when my bowel ruptured.

It almost cost me my life, it was touch and go for 6 days.

I came round 6 days after my op, and was horrified to find this bag stuck on my stomach.

I yelled and screamed in shock not knowing what I had woken up to.

I just wanted to rip it off.

It took 3 months for me to have the strength to walk without the aid of my carer, and another 12 months before I felt strong enough to consider a reversal.

When the time came for me to make the decision to have the reversal, I had long consultations with my surgeon, who advised me that the reversal is not always successful and that it would take quite a while for me to get back on my feet after surgery.

I decided not to go ahead with surgery and accept living with the bag for the rest of my life, which was not an easy decision.

I have never felt better since my recovery, no more passing out when going to the loo with pain.

It hasn't affected my life, I go swimming and have no hang-ups about wearing a bather.

I count my blessings that I am still alive and not pushing up the daisies.

I do get problems now and then with explosions and leakage, but that is nothing compared to the pain I suffered before my surgery.

I think the best advice I can offer is to have a positive mental attitude towards the bag as it doesn't matter where the waste expels itself from our body as long as it does.

I do not have a problem with having the surgery now, I have accepted it and got on with my life.

I hope this gives encouragement to you, and enjoy your life.

Jean

Big hug to you, Hannah!! What a great, inspirational post!!

Life is truly a dance, sometimes the music is lousy, but the important thing is we must always keep on dancin' ~Your Doe

Thanks for the post, Hannah. Great song!

Hey Txgirl, I am Texas Girl also. Ain't we proud of Texas? LOL I have read a lot about you. I am not a full member yet so I can message you. I am 45 and I have a colostomy and a urostomy. I have vulva cancer and also lung cancer at the same time. I have been through a lot and still going through it. I am married and I have 2 children, that I love very much. I would like to talk to you more. You seem to really understand life in general. Your friend Tammie (Texas Girl)