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Consideration Of Others

Posted by Angelicamarie

My question is, " do we have consideration of others?" Some, on this site, I must regetfully say, absolutely not! I say this because some of you have a problem with me blogging at the rate or frequency in which I do. I'm just simply trying to assist, uplift and to provide guidance or positive feed back for and to those who may need some assistance.  My intention have always and will continue to be  my thoughts, opinions and personal experiences . And or to share my insights. Isn't that what this site is about? 

Meaning, shouldn't we all be sharing our thoughts ideas and opinions in a positive way instead of just sitting on the side lines and criticizing those of us who reach out to you and others on this site to share our life experiences, along with  the knowledge, skills and abilities that we all posses. We ostamates should be ready willing and able to share our valueable time and personal experience amongst ourselves.

Perhaps if you would stop talking negative about those of us who actively try to keep this site a prime site or choice to fulfill our needs, we would all be better off for it. For those of you who are and continue to do so, I suggest that you use that energy on something positive, you just might feel better ! How can we make the site successful? We certaintly can't do it with  intolerance of others or one another! Without this site some of us wouldn't have an outlet due to inability to leave our homes or other existing situations. This site could and may very well be our only oulet. Truly we can do better towards one another.

 Lastly, what about respect, to get it, you have to give it. It's not one sided.  If you don't give it what makes you think you derserve it?  Yes, there are times when we we don't feel good about ourselves or just simply don't feel good health wise. However,  that doesn't justify or give you a reason to be ugly to others or your fellow ostamates. We are here to support one another, not signify! No one is better than the other. Have some consideration and sensitivity toward others. Live your life through yourselves and not through others. Of course show some love for others! We are all very important peoples, at least I am and you are too! Live your life and always consider others when you express yourself.

Thanks again for taking your valualable time to read my consideration.

Angelicamarie

See all blogs by Angelicamarie
Comments:
Bill : Hello Angelicamarie.
Thank you for another interesting topic along with your own take on the subject.
Perhaps I missed some posts because I cannot think that I read any that were saying or implying that you were writing too much or that what write was not interesting or relevant. That aside, there are always going to be critics when people bother to put their writing on public display and it is down to the writer to either ignore them or become embroiled in a somewhat pointless discussion about who is right and who is wrong in what they do. I have shared in the past my criteria for entering into conversations and it has stood me in good stead over the years.
Best wishes
Bill
Angelicamarie : G'morning Bill? No it wasn't written it was something that was said, not truly in that nature , but it was meant like that!!! How right you are
There will always be critics! But also when you put yourself out there you have good and bad! I will stop when I'm ready nor do I claim to know everything I'm just a regular trying to help ,not a veteran like yourself!! Thanks for the comments! angelicamarie
Angelicamarie : Bill I thought about your comments, haven't been at it as long as u, it
Is best to ignore it's not worth the energy , thanks bill!! Have a great day! Angelicamarie
Bill : Hello Angelicamarie.
There are a number of reasons why I would not enter into a discussion/ conversation with critics (unless I fancied a pointless argument).
The first is that people are quite rightly self-opinionated and they have every right to be this way. Unfortunately, many of them will never change their opinions, no matter what is said that runs counter to their views - so what's the point in conversational engagement unless it is for the experience of argumentative interaction?
The second reason for not entering into oppositional discussion with critics, is that by doing so, we become critics of the critics, which makes us behave as they have been behaving. Again, what's the point?
My third reason for non-engagement, (which I sometimes ignore) is that 'I' am my own most voracious critic; Thus, I have never met anyone yet who can criticise my work more than I do myself. So in essence, I agree with many of the nastier things that are said about my writing and I don't really need anyone else to point these things out to me.
My last point would be linked with the above, in that I am very sensitised to all forms of bullying. ( I have written several books on the subject) I view negatively criticising others as a form of bullying; Trying to bully them back, means playing the same game as them, which means that there are no winners.
A guy called Eric Byrne had it summed up fairly neatly in his book 'Games people Play', when he wrote that 'games are essentially 'dishonest' and the most effective way to deal with them is to expose them for what they are, rather than engage in the game itself.

I hope that this proves helpful to you in your own deliberations about critics.
Best wishes
Bill
scorsby : Fancy remembering Byrne's book. That's an old one, but absolutely correct.

Keep blogging for me.

John
Angelicamarie : Hello John thanks for responding, however I never read Byrne's book! But Thanks for sharing! Angelicamarie
Bill : Hello scorsby.
There is a saying amongst comedians "The old ones are often the best!" and it applies just as well to writers.
Humans are still 'playing games' and being deceitful in many different ways so it is helpful when writers like Byrne have insights into how to defend against this sort of behaviour. Another book of the same era that sits in pride of place on my bookshelf is 'Straight and Crooked Thinking' by Thouless. Between them and DeBono, they have had quite an influence on how I have helped people (including myself) THINK about their sometimes troublesome relationships with others.
Best wishes
Bill
scorsby : Hi.
Byrne is worth a read.
Try ' I'm OK your OK '
Both excellent and worth your time.
John
Angelicamarie : G'morning John, will do!! Thanks angelicamarie
iMacG5 : Hey Angel, always a pleasure to read your thoughts. Sorry you got some critical comments regarding your contributions. I consider all your writings “contributions” because you’re taking time, expending energy, thinking, which some of us rarely do, and sharing that energy with us. Admittedly, I don’t read everything you offer because sometimes there’s just too much other stuff I’m involved in. But I enjoy your writing, appreciate your thoughts and opinions and feel like we’re not too different. I’m happy to be your friend and disappointed anyone would be critical of your efforts. You’re a kind, caring, compassionate person and I thinks some folks could learn some meaningful lessons about living, loving and making the best of our everyday lives alone and with others.
Don’t ever change who you are!
Respectfully,
Mike
Angelicamarie : Hello mike, thanks so much for your comments,yes I too consider u my friend!you have said the kindness things it was well appreciated!!
Have a wonderful evening! Angel
KatieWithColitis : I'm sorry that you've been getting criticism! I really appreciate your posts and get a lot out of them. Thanks for writing so often and for sharing your insights with the community.
Angelicamarie : Hello Kate, thanks for responding, and definetly I think you for you comments!! I m glad I touched someone that's what it's all about support. Kate have a great evening angel
LadyHope : Thank you for the wonderful post! It is very much appreciated. Have a great week. Sincerely, LH
Angelicamarie : LadyHope, thanks for responding appreciate your kind words!! Angel
Immarsh : Hi Anglicamarie, I always read your posts, and enjoy your positive point of view. Sometimes people say negative things, thinking it will help.....and not realizing how hurtful it is. Years ago, ( when I was going through my divorce and found out the my kids were going to live with their father) a good friend of mine told me that it might be better for me to " talk less, and listen more ( at our singles group meetings). It seems that I was using t he group to vent my sadness and didn't realize that I was " boring" others. At the time, it made me stop and think, and try to reduce my input. I'm grateful for my friend's courage in imparting the message to me, but it was still hurtful. To this day....I tend to " talk to much" and have to work hard to assess where the line is. Ironically, ( or not) I get carried away when I respond to a post, and often have to go back to edit what I've written. Many have thanked me, and have said that my posts are helpful, but in my mind, sometimes they are too long. It wouldn't surprise me if some one tells me to edit my writing.. Actually, I had to do just that in college. I found out that a one page assignment meant just that, not the three pages I'd created. Professors don't appreciate the extra effort. So, you may be asking...what's the point? It's like watching tv. If you're interested in what a person has to say, read away, and if not....don't read the post. This isn't a place to attack anyone, for what they share, or how often they share it. Our input touches a lot of lives......and those who are grateful, let us know. Thanks to all of you for posting, and for reading. Marsha
Angelicamarie : Immarsh.. First I want to thank you for commenting. I had to read the blog again myself. Yes some things can be harmful- especially when said with ill intent. Last week I ran into unhappy person. Who was very rude. I actually smiled while she acted so...ugly. Later I thought wow you actually took that! Ya know Marsha every battle isn’t mine. I need my energy for important things. Ya get more with sugar than vinegar anyday. Thanks again Angel
iMacG5 : Hi Angel and all you other respectful contributors. Most offerings here are worth considering even if they imply opinions very different from ours. Sometimes, folks might be tending to their condition in a way that we learned to be incorrect and they’ll welcome our input to make their lives better. If someone feels the need to evaluate the quality or quantity of our writings I need to advise them of other forums specific to that. If someone offers those evaluations to show how smart they are, most of us could care less. I believe we communicate very well with each other here. We actually help each other, we appreciate each other and regardless of how we spell or punctuate, we express empathy and compassion; probably because we really care about each other. I wouldn’t trade our relationship for a Nobel Prize in literature. Sincerely, Mike
Angelicamarie : Mike... I concur, very well said. Angel
Immarsh : ditto for me ....well said Mike. So many people come here, thinking they are " alone", and are grateful to find that others have gone through what they are going through. After all my years of having my ostomy, I didn't think I ' needed" any help. I was wrong. Just communicating with others, and helping when I can, has enriched my life.... WE can be serious...and timely, share pain, sorrow, and laugh at jokes as well. We are a resource for others, and this site is one of best reasons for internet..... we touch the lives of people around the world.
Angelicamarie : Marsha.. perhaps my delivery was wrong, or I didn't use the right words.. When I said you get more with sugar than vinegar I was referring to those that say ugly things. You used a good analogy-just like television if you don't like the program turn the channel. Yes Marsha the good part is we do touch people all over the world. Angel
Angelicamarie : Morning glory.. Thanks for your comments. Rebecca the things that you said was much appeciated. I’m also glad I found this site. I was struggling emotionally and mentally after my surgery. I was in inspired by the brave men and women who share and continue to share their journey. I still have stormy days, but I concentrate on the sunny days. Oh Rebecca I apologize by mistake I erased your comments by mistake. I have contacted admin to see if they can retrieve it. Thanks again! Angel