This topic is about the challenges of dating, disclosure, and dealing with leaks when living with a temporary ileostomy. After undergoing emergency surgery for colon cancer, the person now has a temporary ileostomy that needs to be emptied several times a day. They faced a hurtful reaction when disclosing their condition on a dating site, which left them feeling lonely and worried about future relationships. They also struggle with frequent leaks, especially at night. Here are some insights and advice shared by others:

- Dating and Disclosure:
- The negative reaction from the date was seen as ignorant and bullying. It's important to remember that early rejection can help identify people who aren't worth your time.
- Disclose your condition when you feel comfortable. Some choose to do it early, while others wait until a relationship seems promising. You don't have to share medical details on a public profile.
- Many people have successful relationships and active sex lives with an ostomy. Some use a corset, specialized underwear, or a wrap to conceal the pouch during intimate moments.
- Consider exploring alternative communities and resources like MeetAnOstomate.org, Ostodate.com, or the Dates and Mates podcast for support and advice.

- Leakage Prevention and Product Suggestions:
- Frequent leaks are not typical. Most people with an ileostomy change their pouch every few days and rarely experience leaks.
- Make sure the stoma doesn't undermine the wafer. Consider using convex wafers, barrier rings, or flange extenders for better security.
- Try products from different manufacturers like Hollister, ConvaTec, or Coloplast, which offer free trial kits.
- To prevent nighttime accidents, use a large washcloth beside the pouch, wear ostomy underwear or snug sleep shirts, and consider high-output or larger-capacity pouches.
- Clean your skin with water only after using adhesive remover to avoid seal failure.
- If leaks continue, consult an experienced stoma nurse. You might need stoma revision or hernia management.
- If you face supply issues, have your surgeon provide a detailed letter each month to ensure you get the necessary supplies.

- Mental and Emotional Support:
- Online groups like MeetAnOstomate.org and Inspire.com offer shared experiences and friendship.
- Remember, your ostomy saved your life but doesn't define you. Rebuild your confidence, pursue your interests, and know that love and companionship are still possible.