This topic is about someone who had bowel surgery nearly a year ago and was initially told that their stoma would be temporary. However, due to persistent inflammation and worsening Crohn’s disease, the stoma has become permanent. Despite having supportive family and friends, the person feels preoccupied with the stoma bag, worries constantly, and fears pushing loved ones away. They are seeking understanding and support from others who live with an ostomy. Here are some pieces of advice and insights shared by others:

1. Give yourself time. Physical healing comes first, and emotional acceptance will follow gradually. Many people find that over time, they begin to go minutes or even hours without thinking about the bag.

2. Seek peer support. Joining local ostomy support groups or online communities can help normalize daily life with a stoma and allow you to learn from others’ experiences.

3. Maintain close family ties. Try not to withdraw from loved ones. Involve them in your journey and express gratitude for their support. Daily expressions of appreciation can strengthen relationships and ease your own adjustment.

4. Consider professional help. Talk to your doctor about the possibility of short-term antidepressant medication or counseling to help navigate feelings of grief, anxiety, or depression related to this lifestyle change.

5. Recognize the grieving process. Losing a former way of life can feel like a bereavement. Acknowledge stages such as denial, anger, and acceptance as normal parts of the process.

6. Reframe the situation.
- Remember that the stoma keeps you alive and focus on the freedom from previous pain, urgency, and bathroom accidents.
- Try to adopt a sense of humor and a light attitude toward the “crazy” aspects of living with a pouch.
- Treat “different” as simply different, not worse. Meditate on impermanence and practice self-compassion.

7. Find practical inspiration. Reading uplifting texts, praying or meditating, and doing daily gratitude exercises can help maintain perspective.

8. Personal stories. Several people who once disliked their stomas now prefer keeping them, appreciating the stability and freedom they provide. Time, information, and shared experiences were key to this shift.