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Sep 21, 2025

Anyone else feel rejected because of their ostomy?

This topic is about the challenges faced by someone living with VACTERL Association and an ostomy, particularly in the realm of dating and self-image. The person shares their experiences of feeling rejected due to physical differences and wonders if others with similar conditions face the same difficulties. Here are some insights and advice that might be helpful:

1. Rejection can help filter out those who are superficial. The right partner will appreciate you for who you are, beyond any physical differences. Keep searching and don't settle for less.

2. Dating can be tough for everyone. It requires patience and persistence, so be prepared to meet many people before finding the right one.

3. Focus on self-love and confidence:
- Believe in your worth and dress in a way that makes you feel good. Smile often to project positivity.
- Avoid relationships that are kept secret. If someone is unwilling to be seen with you, it's best to move on.

4. Change negative self-talk. Remember that beauty is subjective, and start by seeing yourself as beautiful.

5. Consider factors you can control, like weight, grooming, healthy eating, and exercise, to boost your confidence and expand your dating opportunities. Bariatric programs and lifestyle changes might be beneficial.

6. Build support networks:
- Connect with others who have VACTERL or ostomy experiences through support groups or forums.
- Participate in activities that interest you offline, as dating apps may not always be the most effective.

7. Shyness, whether yours or someone else's, can be a barrier to forming connections. Be open to starting conversations.

8. Being single is a valid and potentially fulfilling life stage. Your self-worth is not determined by your relationship status.
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