This topic is about navigating the delicate process of disclosing an ostomy to a new partner and managing intimacy with confidence and comfort. Here are some helpful insights and advice shared by others who have been in similar situations:

- How and When to Tell:
1. Many suggest sharing the information before becoming intimate, often around the third or fourth date, or when things start to get more physical.
2. Assess the potential for a future with the person; if it seems unlikely, disclosure might not be necessary.
3. Some people prefer to send a brief email or link about ostomies to give their partner time to process, but most recommend having an honest face-to-face conversation.
4. You might test their attitude by asking how they’d feel about someone they know having a pouch.
5. Gently place your partner’s hand over the appliance and explain it simply, like calling it a "small bandage."
6. Highlight that the surgery was life-saving and invite any questions they might have.
7. Approach the conversation with confidence, knowing that the right person will accept you. If they don’t, it’s a sign they weren’t the right match.

- Managing the Pouch During Intimacy:
1. Empty the appliance beforehand; some also choose to eat lightly or fast earlier in the day.
2. Consider positioning options like wearing the pouch sideways or taping it upward.
3. If using a two-piece system, try switching to a stoma cap for short periods.
4. Use supportive garments like wraps, hernia-support belts, or lingerie-style clothing to secure the pouch.
5. For noise or odor control, play music, irrigate the day before, or use deodorizing drops or filters.
6. If stoma caps cause irritation, alternate between a full pouch and cap, and use protective wipes or barrier rings.

- Confidence and Self-Image:
1. The biggest challenge can often be your own mindset. Cultivate self-acceptance, as partners usually follow your lead.
2. Reframe your ostomy positively—it’s a sign of survival and health.
3. Humor can be helpful; some refer to their ostomy as a "bandage" or "outdoor plumbing."

Remember, being honest when intimacy is near, presenting the situation matter-of-factly, and ensuring your comfort with supportive garments can make a big difference. A caring partner will adapt, and maintaining your own confidence is key.