Ostomy disclaimers

We've all seen products advertised on TV, radio, magazines, billboards, and newspapers. Usually somewhere on the ad is a disclaimer. So I got to thinkin'.... About Ostomy and Stoma disclaimers.

A typical ad:

Got gut trouble? Toilets give you the heebeejeebees? Sepsis, C Diff, and peritonitis got you down? Introducing Ostomy! The "can do" solution available in three models. Colostomy, ileostomy, and Urostomy. One call does it all. Surgeons available now. Call 1-800-Stoma today.

Then the tiny print disclaimer:

"Results shown for informational purposes only. Your Ostomy might suck." Ostomys shown created by professional surgeons in a controlled hospital setting, your surgeon might suck. Don't attempt this at home. Ostomys not guaranteed to treat all conditions, some conditions, or even one condition. Reversal options at extra cost. Not available in all states or territories. Ostomy supplies available at considerable extra cost. Read all instructions before use. Your mileage may vary. Ostomy addiction, call 1-800-takedown. Shake well before serving.

"Your surgeon might suck." 😂

If your ostomy erection lasts more than 4 hours, it's important to seek medical attention.

Very witty. I like it.

Lol 😂 Funny, I was reading this literally as one of those medicine commercials came on. Hahaha. I think you have an idea here.

LOL! Love it.

Very funny. Thanks for the laugh.

Super funny!! It's always good to find humor especially in difficult situations 😉

I'll be seeing my surgeon in a week to talk about a reversal and I'm printing this off to start the appointment with laughs. Thanks for this, I love the "do not try this at home". Hahahahahahaha!

Hey Justbreathe,

Very good addition.

Funniest thing I've seen yet.