Awkward Noise Moments?

Three - What a beautiful story. Made my eyes water up (which, I have to say, isn't hard to get me to do). As both BEG and Alabama said "There are angels among us". One of the wonderful things about life is you never know when there's one right next to you.

It happened again yesterday. Salad for lunch. Disaster. The afternoon session sounded more like a brass band tuning up than a trial for dangerous driving.

I don't know about the worst possible time, but last week I was at the nursing station and just as she put the stethoscope next to my stoma, it let out a very loud belch that made her jump about a foot in the air.

Very true, my friend....I personally know one named "Lalu"...just saying, LOL

Always, BEG

That's funny about the stethoscope.

To Lalu, you are super funny and I'll bet there are many here laughing with you, and me.  Hope some of those around you can develop a sense of humor.  Sometimes even fear can be replaced by laughter.  Stay funny for all of us.  Mike

I have an ileostomy and have found that holding my left arm across my tummy (quite casually) then holding the flat of my left hand quite firmly across my stoma can subdue the sounds somewhat.

I have developed an "annoying" habit over the years of coughing or talking garbage out of the blue when my stoma is having a go. Coughing or talking inappropriate gobbledygook is even a more obvious "cover up".

I list below what I feel the worst times for your stoma to "shout out loud" (I have been through all of these situations - most unfortunately and embarrassingly!!).

1. When in intimate moments and your stoma thinks "yeah...this is a great time to shout off". It's a great passion killer, believe me, especially if you are in a new relationship!! How embarrassing - and I think the worst time. Good tip - play loud music (on repeat play, 'cause as soon as the music stops, the stoma will start "singing") Pink Floyd works well.

2. A small meeting room, and you are in a group, all sitting around in complete silence, reading the agenda or whatever.

3. At a meal, where it really has a go - hopefully, loud conversation or music can cover it. "Arm across tummy" time for me.

4. In a church. The stoma can be most disrespectful in respectable places.

5. At a funeral. Not good sounds to give someone (a loved one for example) a dignified goodbye.

6. Watching a sad film with your partner. I've been sobbing at a sad part - and my stoma joins in with "putt putts" and "rasps" How embarrassing!!

7. When you walk into a toilet - and someone is waiting right outside the door - I know it's the right place - but embarrassing on the walk out!! Plus - the smell!!

There are other situations that you guys and gals have mentioned - and they give me a smile - 'cause I have been through those situations as well.

Can you get a "SILENCER" for a stoma? The inventor of one could be a millionaire overnight!!

Teddy Bear. You have given me one helluva laugh. Sounds like we have something in common.

Thank you, Welshman. So glad you found my comments funny. What would you think we had in common then - the inappropriate "embarrassing noises," or Pink Floyd for intimate times? LOL LOL.

A bit of both, I think hun. Pink Floyd does help with the rhythm though.

I took a year out of university to have my ileo surgery and, upon returning, spent an entire academic year 'farting' in lectures, tutorials, libraries, and exams! I didn't lose marks for it, and after that, I have no fears anywhere.

G-man,

That is the way to go!!!!

X_

Why should you have any fears or concerns? After all, when in Rome....
    PB

It's too bad our intestines didn't supply us with some kind of early warning system, like when we knew we had gas before we lost the use of our rectum.

Hi PB,

I could never do here what I did in Rome.

X_

Do I hear intimations of a misspent youth amid the grandeur that was Rome?  PB

Not long ago, I walked into a doctor's office waiting room and my stoma let out a stream of weird noises. There were a half-dozen or more people in the waiting room. I reached into my right front pocket and pulled out my cell phone. I figured - they have no clue what kind of ringtone I use.

Wow! Brilliant thinking there!

Lol! My reaction was so smooth and quick, I surprised myself.