CharK60, Charlotte, here. Excellent advice given to you by each responder but I know what it's like to feel lonely.
However when you feel that way too hard you project to others a desperate neediness that may not be very attractive.
I believe that is why you find more dates when you're not looking. That and the fact that partners want to pursue. If it's a sure thing it's just not as interesting.
I'm 64 and talk about meeting someone but it's just talk. I really can't imagine having to make room for a lover because I'm so comfortable where I'm at.
But in my case it doesn't work out that I have lots of dates because I never leave the dang house! I sure can't complain that I can't meet anyone.
I'm talking almost NEVER because I take care of my elderly mother so I don't even have a job to go to and meet folks.
So I suggest you pay attention to all this great advice and RELAX! Good things are worth waiting for.
Also, I ,notice that your preferences for people you want to meet is very narrow and limited. That surely will affect how many responses you get.
Finally, as much as we may not like it, dating is a game and requires some acting skill. The part you want to play amongst your real ones is : happy, fun to be with, independent (maybe) and somewhat aloof. Eeyore's "nobody likes me" won't get you anywhere.