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Insulted by program “undatables”

Posted by LightsGoOut, on Tue Jun 18, 2019 12:27 pm

I recently watched a program on TV called “undatables” the program features people with disabilities. There was a lady who had an ileostomy and felt due to her pouch that she would never find love. The presenter explained that having a disfigurement meant the majority of men wouldn’t be interested in her.

I had my ileostomy when I was 18. Yes it was hard to get over it but never have I felt undatable! Maybe a challenge  but I’m a good as any one else! Yes I’ve met some nasty men who think it’s an eye sore having a plastic bad strapped to me but shame on him

I can wear nice underwear and hide me pouch, i once went on a dating site and enjoyed the fact that no one knew my secret. Who ever chooses to be with me has to be very special! Isn’t that a good thing? 

Dies everyone else feel that they are no different to any one else or is it just me who is confident and proud of my lil poop bag! 

To have a tv program advertising we are undatable is disgraceful? Or are we undatable? 

Reply by Mike6952, on Tue Jun 18, 2019 1:30 pm

There is someone out there for everyone just waiting to be found 

Reply by LightsGoOut, on Tue Jun 18, 2019 3:38 pm

I guess so!! Tick tock tick tock 

Reply by Mike6952, on Tue Jun 18, 2019 3:40 pm

yes the clock always ticks

Reply by Sasquatch, on Tue Jun 18, 2019 4:28 pm

I've recently been through rounds of interviews looking for a new job, not once did anyone notice I have an ileostomy.  If I don't want someone to know, they won't.  I've seen people surprised when they found out I have one, after seeing me go about my business at work.  Dating could be a different challenge, because at some point the other person is going to find out.  If you can prove to appear as though everything is normal underneth, I like to think the vast majority of people would be willing to look past it.  This is where we as ostomates need to advocate for ourselves.  We are not dirty, or stinky, in a lot of cases we are healthier than we were before we had our ostomies done.  I don't like the negative stigma, but ultimatly it is our responsibility to show what we can still do and educate those around us so that they understand.

Reply by LightsGoOut, on Tue Jun 18, 2019 4:40 pm

Here here!!!

i never realised this until five years after my op that I’m now a better person! We r very special people who have been given a chance in life! 

Reply by Puppyluv56, on Tue Jun 18, 2019 7:40 pm

That is a big degrading! I have never been in the dating scene with an Ostomy and can imagine it to be somewhat difficult at times because of shallow people. My husband has UC. That is difficult too and I never blinked an eye! 

Shame on the TV program! We should all write them! Lol

Puppyluv

Reply by Bagface, on Tue Jun 18, 2019 9:42 pm

Yes, that was a degradeable program! The nasty men are doing you a favor by letting you know up front what creeps they really are!

Reply by panther, on Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:05 am

Wish I was standing in front of that presenter so I could pull my top up and flash my bag and say "it's full of sh*t like you"!!! I've been around ileosostmys all life my dad had one long before I was born and I've had mine since I was 19, that was 30 years ago that makes me feel very old lol so I see them differently to how a lot of people do. Dad was the best example anyone could ever have to show you can do anything and more than someone who has a working colon! I've always been a bag man and proud of it!!! It's never got in the way of relationships in my younger days there may of been a few ocassions when I didn't have time to say I had an ostomy (blushing) lol and it wasn't a problem....I like to brag about my ileostomy on a few groups nothing to do with ostomys just for awarness not PITY!!! to show if anyone needs an ostomy in the future temporary or permanent they can live there life just the same as anyone with a colon does....and I know I'm the luckiest person in the world to be given anothr chance to live....1 Life live it never let a stoma rule your life 

Reply by vanessa1970, on Wed Jun 19, 2019 3:17 pm

I love the posts! Sometimes it is difficult for sure. But life is what you make of it. You have to go out and take some chances, and ladies you need to rely on a bit of feminine mystique. For most of us the operation was a godsend, but if you let it happen the trade off ends up being that it takes your audacity, your swagger, your feeling of being feminine. I love my close friends.....and my collection of sleek corsets!! 

Reply by joecc, on Sat Jun 22, 2019 12:18 am

This is so good to hear! I’ve had my urostomy since I can remember and ended up pretty depressed at different stages in my life thinking it’s not possible to have a partner or even be more outgoing, I’m 29 now and feel a lot different mostly because of a change of job and surrounding my self with different people, it great to know others can be this confident about having something similar. 

Reply by Mike6952, on Sat Jun 22, 2019 6:39 am

Does every one have there stoma on the right side of the body, just wondered 😂 

Reply by Bagface, on Sat Jun 22, 2019 4:51 pm

My stoma was on my right side

Reply by Mike6952, on Sun Jun 23, 2019 4:51 am

I seem to think most are

Reply by Puppyluv56, on Sun Jun 23, 2019 7:22 pm

Mine is on the left!

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