Talking to My Ostomy: Am I the Only One?

Replies
52
Views
1133
mia17
Oct 13, 2025 3:00 pm

I'm curious if anyone ever sits and looks at their ostomy or talks to it like it's a person. Maybe because she's so new, I'm figuring out how to care for her, and while it does feel like a relief to just let her breathe for a day or two so she can heal, there is also relief when I have a bag and clothes on so my mind can think about other things and I can go outside and walk around and meet people. I was just curious if I'm a bit special in this way or if there are others like me 😊 This does seem to be getting easier; it feels like I'm practicing and creating a more positive relationship with my body, showing it gentleness and kindness so that life may be a little bit easier 💫

Georgy Porgy
Oct 13, 2025 4:09 pm

Perhaps I'm a bit of a brute. I didn't even grow up on a farm! However, I've heard that it is a good idea not to name the animals.

Since this is a part of me, not something new that didn't exist before, I don't talk to mine as if it were separate from me.

I do enjoy reading about those who do! There are many funny names!

Posted by: BeachRN

Thank you for your quick reply. I'll discuss irrigation with my doctor. I'm sure it would be down the road. My output is still very liquid. It's all so unpredictable at 6 weeks post-op. I have such a fear of constipation as I struggled with this forever. I used a fiber source to thicken the stool but it hasn't helped very much. I guess I will continue to be positive but it is a bit of a pain. This website is great and everyone is so informative. Cheryl

warrior
Oct 13, 2025 4:12 pm

Whatever helps you cope with the alien sticking out of you is what's important.

Naming, talking, and singing to it have been discussed in depth in other forums here.

Some do name it; others don't. It is considered a coping mechanism.

Each of us is special. The idea that the people here are so open and friendly as strangers, coming together to help others, is both special and unique. 💓

infinitycastle52777
Oct 13, 2025 5:18 pm

I talk to my ostomy; when it farts, I say, "Yes, may I help you?" And I have named it Marvin Rose. My mom also talks to Marvin when he "talks." We even pray for Marvin at mealtime in our mealtime prayer. I think it is very validating. Sometimes, too, I like to just put a bag on it, put my clothes on, and forget about having an ostomy. Go out and be in the world. Go to the store. Go shopping. Go volunteering. Do things that take my mind off my ostomy. It's a balance.

SusanT
Oct 13, 2025 5:23 pm

I find both of my ostomies fascinating. I did stare at them quite a bit in the beginning, but I had so many sudden eruptions that I stopped.

I also talk to them quite a bit, mostly telling them to "shush" or "behave." But I do that when my stomach growls too. I think I'm just a "talk to yourself" kind of girl. I never named them, though.

 

How to Stay Hydrated with an Ostomy with Collin | Hollister

Play
GoinWithTheFlow
Oct 13, 2025 5:42 pm

Naming his stoma Sammy Stoma after the baseball player Sammy Sosa kind of created a happy association for hubz.

It also makes it easier to share status as I ask how Sammy's doing, tracking output relative to diet, etc. We even describe appliance changes as getting Sammy a new outfit! I'm not sure how we'd have these chats without having a name! 😄

Also, just saw this! Sammy's a legend!
Login to see image

mia17
Oct 13, 2025 5:57 pm

OMG, you're all so funny! I'm laughing and smiling as I read these. Thank you so much for helping me feel supported! 💛

Mr Brightside
Oct 13, 2025 6:13 pm

I call mine Sylvester Stalloma after, you guessed it, Sylvester Stallone. 😆

AlexT
Oct 13, 2025 6:14 pm

Nope.

w30bob
Oct 13, 2025 6:53 pm

I'm guessing it's just you and me who feel like we just entered the Twilight Zone!

Must be something in the water.

;O)

Ben38
Oct 13, 2025 7:11 pm

I don't sit and look at my stoma much now that I have had it for nearly 40 years, but in the beginning, yes, that's how you learn to really accept them and not just say you do. In my view, do I love my stoma? I wouldn't change a thing; it's made me who I am, and I think it's made me a better person. We only have random words together and some choice ones at times, as we did at 3:30 a.m. this morning! I had to see a nurse today; nothing to do with the stoma. The little wotsit has been in a windy mood all day. I told it to behave when I was going to see her, but no, as usual, it didn't take a blind bit of notice! I was telling my stoma to stop showing off in front of the nurse; she's used to me and knows I'm insane, lol. Just do what's right for you; don't worry about anyone else. They do everything their way; you do it your way. Most of all, lots of laughter in your life—that's what we all need. If you can't laugh at yourself, ask me; I'll do it for you, lol. It just becomes second nature in time.

mia17
Oct 13, 2025 8:06 pm

This is so how mine is too. I've only had a single check-up since coming home to remove that drain (which is such a relief to have out, sheesh), and she was quiet then. But when I'm home and she's free, like after shower time, it's like she becomes more active when I pay more attention to her. I think they're kind of like little children; like you ask them not to do something, and they do it, lol. Actually, I've noticed quite a few adults act this way... just children in adult bodies, I guess. It's interesting noticing how and when she becomes more active, like an indicator for when I am doing or thinking things that maybe I want to try to lessen over time. Who knows? I feel like clueless most of the time, but then there are times when I feel like the clarity is coming. Yes, laughter is so helpful for helping us feel better! I enjoy laughing very much and am familiar with making a fool out of myself to help bring joy to other people, lol.

TerryLT
Oct 13, 2025 9:03 pm
Very helpful

I will confess that I am still a little fascinated with my stoma. I have a viewing window in my appliance, and I'm sure I check it more often than necessary. I want to make sure that any thick output isn't getting stuck in the dip of the convex wafer. I guess I'm still a little pumped that my poo comes out of me naturally, as I spent so many years in constant pain from constipation. Not many people have the superpower of being able to watch themselves poo! I mean really, how cool is that? If that's weird, I'm OK with it!

Terry

CrappyColon
Oct 13, 2025 11:17 pm

Going with the flow, are y'all Cubs fans? Or just Sammy fans?

GoinWithTheFlow
Oct 13, 2025 11:43 pm

Hubz says 'both'. He really enjoys sports and appreciates the accomplishments of individual athletes.

Hugo
Oct 14, 2025 12:29 am

I have not named my stoma, nor do I talk to it. I just check it to see if it is pancaking or if my pouch needs to be emptied.

IGGIE
Oct 14, 2025 1:44 am
Very helpful

I reckon whatever floats your boat. Name it, talk to it, make covers for it. But best of all, accept it and enjoy your new way of life. Mine is called Jonah, thar she blows.

IGGIE

Lemonade486
Oct 14, 2025 4:10 am
Very helpful

Girl, same 😂 my Suzie says hello.

ron in mich
Oct 14, 2025 1:30 pm

Hi all, I haven't named mine as I didn't give my butt hole a name, but I do swear at it when I'm doing a change and an eruption happens.

mia17
Oct 14, 2025 6:57 pm

OMG, thank goodness, me too! It's fascinating that they're able to do something like this to help us, and yes, watching the output flow is really cool! It's been a lot to process this past month, and I am so thankful to be feeling better as time goes on. ☀️

mia17
Oct 14, 2025 6:59 pm

Yes, totally, this was happening to me too. I think the more I looked at her, the more active she became, so I'm really glad I found barrier strips and the closed bag combo, which works well! Such a relief. Thank you so much for your kindness and support. ☀️

mia17
Oct 15, 2025 6:56 pm

Yes, exactly! I enjoy the days I find motivation to go out and be active in the world. I find it very endearing that Marvin is included in prayers too; it's so sweet 🥰

Deebro
Oct 19, 2025 3:06 am
Very helpful

I sing to Puddenhed. “You are so beautiful… to me… you are so beautiful to me, can't you see? You're everything I hoped for, you're everything I need…. You are so beautiful to me!” We have had a wonderful relationship for almost twenty years! I take care of him and he takes care of me. Sometimes we disagree on what we should be eating, but we have an understanding.

merman1974
Oct 19, 2025 10:30 am

I called mine Sequel because he's my second stoma (the first was temporary, and I named it Xenomorph after the chestburster alien in the original Alien - which it turns out was inspired by writer Dan O'Bannon suffering from Crohn's like me!).

And yes, I talk to Sequel. He's especially noisy around mealtimes; I do tend to empty before I sit down at the table. But I often find him "grumbling" that it's time for something to eat.

Pouis Vuitton
Oct 19, 2025 12:03 pm

I named mine “Pouis Vuitton” and to “continue” the joke for people who know my (shopaholic) wife fairly well, that “it's the most expensive bag I never wanted to have or own, and my wife doesn't want one either.”

Pouis Vuitton
Oct 19, 2025 12:06 pm

I named mine “Pouis Vuitton” and to “continue” the joke for people who know my (shopaholic) wife fairly well, that “it's the most expensive bag I never wanted to have or own, and my wife doesn't want one either.”

Doe1mama
Oct 19, 2025 1:31 pm

I do my husband's ileostomy care due to a stroke affecting his dominant side. I definitely talk to it when doing a total change. In fact, I practically scream at it ("Don't you dare") when I hear a gurgle after we thought we timed it perfectly and I'm not quite done.

msmacs50
Oct 19, 2025 2:30 pm

I named mine Pendaja.....

The word pendejo, meaning 'asshole' colloquially, could be considered a swear word by many. Note: because of the way the Spanish language works, the word 'pendejo' is the male version of the word. You would use it when addressing someone as a man. When addressing a female subject, the word would be 'pendeja.'

Loves showers without the bag.....


Cousin Eddie
Oct 19, 2025 3:52 pm

Nope! You are not alone. My Eddie gets loud. He bubbles, snorts, burps, giggles, growls, whimpers, sighs, and I swear he's trying to learn to whistle!

Talk to him? Oh yeah, we talk! My friends, nurses, and doctors refer to him by name also because he's made quite the impression on all of them. I'd rather introduce him and mention my situation than not. A direct result of his perpetual poor timing.

And honestly, it keeps me laughing, wondering what lovely and usually rude sound he'll make next! Eddie is why I'm still alive, and for that, I'm truly grateful.

Cindybishop
Oct 19, 2025 4:34 pm

Hi, I am from Canada as well. I live in Grand Prairie, Alberta. I have had this for two years, and I am still getting used to it. I am part of the creative dance class from Vancouver. If you would like to know more about it, please email me. It was great to find you on this cake care, Cindy Bishop.