Seeking Support for First Family Gathering Post-Surgery

Bath and Body Works carry small travel sprays. I give a quick spray before changing bags; I'm a closed bag girl…

100% correct.

Hello! First, I have to agree that it's unlikely that you smell at all. Hubz is only 5 weeks with an ostomy, and though we're not experts in any way, the technology of the bags, filters, seals, and deodorants is said to be way more advanced to eliminate odors.

M9 is a deodorant product from Hollister. We haven't used it yet, but it's one that's most often mentioned in resources we've seen by ostomates on YouTube. There's a room spray and drops, I believe, for the bag.

Have fun, and your in-laws will be delighted to see their happy and healthy DIL!

Susan, you are absolutely right with your comments. A MIL like the one described by Funmaru would make me ask: “Would you prefer I not attend?”

Bring clothespins. You know, the wooden type? With a spring? If anyone complains, hand them out and say STFU. 😋

My Ostomy Journey: Jearlean | Hollister

I have had my ileostomy for 50 years. A lot of ups and downs.
One thing I learned was to always do my shower and change the pouch one day before traveling.
Use the Hollister thin #8815 wafer before applying the pouch. I do use a 3M skin protector before applying the wafer.

That has a good seal.
After your family gets together, your family will accept your situation. Don't be afraid to talk about it.

Then they understand your situation.

I hope this helps.

Jerry

I'm a newbie at this, and while it all takes getting used to, I think your MIL is out of place... She should be grateful it isn't her problem! I think most of us who've had ileostomies placed did so to save our lives - embrace being a survivor! I saw that Convotec offered silica gel packets for odor and diarrhea. They were rather expensive, but I found 100 little packs on Amazon for $5. You place them in your pouch, and they do help with both odor and consistency - still seeing if they have an effect on gas. Best of luck!

This is a good opportunity to educate your MIL on your ostomy. I think this is more common than we think. Who better to spread the word and educate those without an ostomy than us?

Your mil is rediculous first of all!! Use m9 deodorizer, it’s amazing.  People like that make us ostomates feel Uncomfortable 

The best

I used Zepbound. One shot, and I thought I had a blockage. Threw the rest of the shots out.

I am with Axl on this—your husband should set his overbearing, bizarre mother straight and tell her to keep her mouth shut. You are not going to smell, and you do not need to explain anything to anyone—as they say, ain't nobody's business but your own. I would also remind your husband that there are many daughters-in-law who have never set foot in their MIL's house for far less provocation than this!

Bottom line. This is not your problem. It is a crazy MIL problem.

What an awful thing for her to do. Does she think that her poo does not stink?

I hope your husband has your back and has sufficient spine to stand up to his grotesquely inappropriate, insulting, and intrusive mother. You are the same person you were before your ostomy. If it were my MIL, I would let her know that one more comment about my ostomy and she is losing her son-in-law forever. Without question, my wife would be the first person to read the riot act to her own mother if her mother ever dared cross that line. Wow. My heart goes out to you. Funmaru. Your MIL sounds like a real piece of work. Wishing you all the best.

My doctor said one out of 5 people have an ostomy. If you don't have an ostomy, you may have Crohn's, or cancer, or sepsis, or whatever. We all almost have something; this is life... just enjoy your life. You never know what is going on in someone else's life.

Like so many others, I agree with Susan.

I use artificial vanilla after emptying my bag. One eye drop half full works. This was suggested by a nurse for

one of the major pouch makers. I am very happy with their two-piece product but sometimes try others.

If I smell something, it is almost always from a small leak because I have not sealed the two pieces completely.

So I fasten or change the appliance. Smell for me is a warning that something is not 100%. I have no complaints from

anyone.

Thanks, everyone, for all the tips and comments. The dinner party went smoothly.

There you go! Congrats, 1 down... more to follow? 🫣

Absolutely 💯

M9 is a spray used in hospitals, too.

Glad the dinner party went well!

When I'm concerned about odor, I have taped 1/2 of a scented dryer sheet to the ostomy bag to be safe.

I am so happy to hear this. Things will continue to go smoothly going forward.

Congratulations! One hurdle out of the way. The next one won't seem quite as daunting.

Hmm. What I heard about stomas and folks with IBD is "eventually" you will have a bag.

What I learned from this site and other warriors here is, you don't necessarily have to have

IBD - CROHN'S COLITIS - to sport a bag. Sadly. It's becoming an epidemic - other serious diseases/illnesses/even screw-up surgery. 😳

I guess we don't know the MIL's full story. I was also ready to go to war, but then I thought maybe the MIL has other issues, a different DIL who is hypercritical, a difficult marriage, her own health problems, maybe she's on chemo and smells trigger nausea for her. We don't know.

Funmaru, I hope you see that you have an army of supporters here, all ready to support you in any way we can. I have a really irritating tremor, so I won't be in charge of lighting the cannons! :)

Great advice, Ben!

Brilliant!

Neither do I, Funmaru. I thought it was just me being old and uncool! Xnine, can you help us understand?

And if there's a bottle of bleach in the bathroom, pour most of it down the loo before and after flushing. You guys know we could and should write a book on perfume control. Another idea, Funmaru, you could claim your perfume is the height of chic in Paris!

Really good advice, Jayne.