I Get Tired
I GET TIRED.
My chronic illness makes me tired
and so it’s hard to get inspired.
So what I choose to do instead
is think that I should stay in bed.
But laying there I am inclined
to get more tired in my mind.
Then as that tiredness is built
I start to feel a twang of guilt.
To myself I chide and scoff
there must be people much worse off.
Just look around and you will see
there’s many people worse than me.
But then my mind will once again
focus on my chronic pain.
And whilst I may have empathy
my instinct is to apathy.
Because I do not want to shirk
I’ll force myself to do some work.
That’s in the hope that I’ll get tired
in ways that might be still admired.
So up I get and off I go
and smile, so people will not know
that all that time, way deep inside
my true feelings I will hide.
Because my feelings are repressed
I will tend to get depressed.
But still my duties I’ll fulfil
though I know it makes me ill.
But I get tired of it all
chronic illness, big and small.
And sometimes when it gets too rough
I simply feel I’ve had enough.
B. Withers 2012