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Sep 24, 2022

Dating with an Ileostomy: Finding a Partner

The topic at hand is about dating with an ileostomy and the likelihood of finding a woman partner. Here are some comforting thoughts and practical advice on this subject:

- The chances of finding a loving partner are essentially 100%. An ileostomy doesn't stop anyone from finding love.
- Your self-confidence and attitude are far more important than having a stoma. Remember, your ostomy is just a small part of who you are.
- When starting a new relationship, let it develop naturally. Share your medical condition when trust and interest have been established. If someone decides to leave after learning about your ileostomy, it simply means they weren't the right match for you.
- Accepting your own ostomy is key. Many relationship issues stem from the ostomate's insecurities, which can unintentionally push others away.
- There are real-life examples of people with ileostomies having multiple long-term relationships and even marriages. For instance, some have had two long-term partners over 18 years.
- Some people may reject you, just as they might for any number of reasons. Focus on those who are mature enough to appreciate character over appearance.
- Understand both your limitations and strengths. Approach dating with optimism and realism. Traits like confidence, humor, kindness, and empathy are very attractive.
- A practical set of relationship goals includes being present, consistent, honest, genuine, sincere, non-judgmental, and empathetic. Keep confidences, empower each other, show unconditional positive regard, and respect individuality, feelings, and needs. Care according to your principles.
- Ultimately, the main challenge is finding someone whose values align with yours. A compassionate and mature partner will see you for who you truly are, not just for the appliance you wear.
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